Skip to content

Grief: Helping Children Understand

Font Size

Topic Overview

(continued)

Helping your child

Here are some general guidelines for helping children when they are grieving:

  • Use simple, clear words. Use words the child can understand. Use correct medical terms when talking about disease and reasons for death. Do not say things in a way that may confuse the child.
    • If you tell a child that "Uncle Steve's body is in the ground," the child may wonder when Uncle Steve will come out of the ground.
    • If you tell a child that "Sally is going to sleep for a long, long time," the child may wonder when Sally will wake up.
  • Be honest. If a family member has a serious illness, for example, explain the situation in words that the child can understand. You can say, "Uncle Thomas has a bad illness that is causing his lungs to fill with germs. The germs are too strong for his body to get rid of them. We don't think he is going to live much longer."
  • Talk about the meaning of the loss. Loss is a natural part of life. You may want to use an example to help the child understand the meaning of the loss. For example, say, "Remember when you lost your pet rabbit? You were very upset because you wouldn't see him again. Daddy feels that way now because he lost his friend."
  • Prepare children for expected losses. If you are planning to move, include the child in plans and preparations. If someone in the family is ill and close to death, you can say, "Grandma is sick, and we want to spend some time with her today." When death gets closer, you can say, "Grandma is very sick, and we don't think she's going to live much longer. We are going to say good-bye to her."
  • Involve children. If a loved one is dying in a hospital, ask your child whether he or she wants to visit the hospital. Ask your child whether he or she wishes to attend the funeral or memorial service. Children generally have a good sense of what they can handle. If your child wishes to attend the service, assure him or her that you (or another person) will be there to answer questions or address concerns. Some children don't want to visit a dying loved one or attend a memorial service. This is okay too. Don't force your child to do something against his or her wishes.
1|2
1|2

WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise

Last Updated: March 12, 2014
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information.
Next Article:

Grief: Helping Children Understand Topics

Hot Topics

WebMD Video: Now Playing

Click here to wach video: Dirty Truth About Hand Washing

Which sex is the worst about washing up? Why is it so important? We’ve got the dirty truth on how and when to wash your hands.

Click here to watch video: Dirty Truth About Hand Washing

Popular Slideshows & Tools on WebMD

feet
Solutions for 19 types.
MS Overview
Recognizing symptoms.
pregnancy test and calendar
Helping you get pregnant.
build a better butt
How to build a better butt.
lone star tick
How to identify that bite.
woman standing behind curtains
How it affects you.
brain scan with soda
Tips to avoid complications.
row of colored highlighter pens
Tips for living better.
psoriasis
How to keep flares at bay.
woman dreaming
What Do Your Dreams Say About You?
spinal compression fracture
Treatment options.

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.