Skip to content
Font Size
A
A
A

Health Care Agents - Appointing One and Being One

How should I handle my personal feelings when acting as a health care agent?

It is very important that you stay in touch with your own feelings while you are acting as an agent. Otherwise, you may not realize that they can affect your behavior and even your decisions. You may be experiencing anxiety or fear about what will happen to this person you love.

You may be concerned that the person is suffering or is in pain and may worry about how treatment will affect his or her condition. You may fear thatyou will not do the right thing or that you are not being assertive enough. You may worry that you are making decisions that make you feel better rather than those that are best for the patient. You may also be struggling with grief, particularly if the disease has taken away the person you knew or if you anticipate that the person will soon die.

Recommended Related to Healthy Seniors

Tips for Long-Distance Caregiving

If your mother lives in Phoenix and you're in New York, how do you help take care of her? Angela Heath, director of the Eldercare Locator Hotline of the National Association of Area Agencies on Aging, has compiled 10 strategies to help you cope. This article is adapted from Heath's book, Long-Distance Caregiving: A Survival Guide for Far Away Caregivers. Get organized Keep track of important information in a care log. Identify your informal network Ask for help from people in the...

Read the Tips for Long-Distance Caregiving article > >

Sometimes people feel guilty for having withheld or withdrawn treatment, even when they know for certain that doing so is what the patient wanted. It may help to remember that if it were not for you, the person you love might have had to endure a treatment that they did not want, or they might have been deprived of care that they did want.

It is hard to listen and to hear what health care professionals are saying when you are under emotional stress. It is difficult to be objective when you are afraid of losing someone you love. End-of-life decisions can be particularly difficult even when you know the person's wishes very clearly. Try to accept your feelings and be patient with yourself. You can usually defer making a decision until you have a chance to think about it. Do not blame yourself if you forget to ask something or if you are afraid you made a wrong decision. If, after thinking things over, you want to change your mind, you generally can do so. As a rule, you can find another opportunity to ask questions.

Unacknowledged feelings can make you very angry, and your anger may come out in inappropriate ways such as arguing with doctors, nurses, and others caring for the patient or with family members. Creating conflict when it is unnecessary will make it more difficult for you to get information and be an effective advocate. Anger can even hurt the care of the patient if the focus of those caring for the patient shifts from dealing with the patient's needs to dealing with you.

Hot Topics

WebMD Video: Now Playing

Click here to wach video: Dirty Truth About Hand Washing

Which sex is the worst about washing up? Why is it so important? We’ve got the dirty truth on how and when to wash your hands.

Click here to watch video: Dirty Truth About Hand Washing

Popular Slideshows & Tools on WebMD

disciplining a boy
Types, symptoms, causes.
psoriasis
Does your kid have symptoms?
fruit drinks
Eat these to think better.
No gym workout
Moves to help control blood sugar.
acupuncture needle on shoulder
10 tips to look and feel good.
Close up of eye
12 reasons you're distracted.
Epinephrine Injection using Auto-Injector Syringe
Life-threatening triggers.
woman biting a big ice cube
Habits that wreck your teeth.
embarrassed woman
Do you feel guilty after eating?
pacemaker next to xray
Treatment options.
caregiver with parent
10 tips for daily life.
birth control pills
Which kind is right for you?

Pollen counts, treatment tips, and more.

It's nothing to sneeze at.

Loading ...

Sending your email...

This feature is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later.

Thanks!

Now check your email account on your mobile phone to download your new app.

Women's Health Newsletter

Find out what women really need.