The couple arrived at my office with a common problem. They had an
8-month-old and a 3-year-old. The husband was starved for physical contact and
had been since baby No. 1 was born. But between the nursing infant and the
clinging toddler, the wife was getting just about as much physical contact as
she could stand.
Over the course of several sessions, I explored what might be affecting
their sex life by asking them some gentle questions. Could the mother have
postpartum depression? Was the...
Many people discover more about this part of themselves over time. For example, some girls and boys date heterosexually in high school, then find later on that they are really more comfortable, romantically and sexually, with members of their own gender.
You may hear many different words and phrases about homosexuality and sexual orientation. Here are some definitions:
Gender identity: Your internal sense of whether you are male or female. This may not be the same as your physical sex.
Lesbian: A woman who is homosexual.
Gay: A man who is homosexual. "Gay" is sometimes used to refer to both men and women who are homosexual.
Bi: A short, informal way of saying "bisexual."
Transgender: People who don't feel that their gender identity fully "matches" their physical sex or other body characteristics, or who feel different from most other people of their physical sex in some significant way, sometimes call themselves transgender. This is a very general term. There are many ways to be transgender.
Transsexual: People who use medical treatments, such as hormone medicine or surgery, to make their bodies match their gender identity.
LGBT: Popular shorthand for "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender." Often seen as "GLBT." Sometimes a "Q" is added (LGBTQ), for "queer" or "questioning." A person who is "questioning" is one who isn't sure about his or her sexual orientation or gender identity.
Queer: A word meaning "not heterosexual." Many gay people are offended by the word. But some younger people have reclaimed the word as a way of saying that they are open about their sexual orientation.
Ally: A heterosexual person who fully accepts and supports his or her LGBT friends or family members. An ally recognizes the equality of people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
In the closet: A person who realizes that she or he is gay and keeps this a secret is "in the closet" or "closeted."