Sharing memories (sometimes called life review or reminiscence) helps older adults relive past events in their lives. By sharing memories, older adults can explore their thoughts and feelings about the past. They can put their past experiences in perspective with what is happening to them in the present or what is expected to happen in the future.
Usually it is easy to start a conversation with someone about past events in his or her life. Sometimes older people say they don't remember much about their past. They may also say that what happened to them is not important, because they don't want to bore someone else with their memories. You may need to encourage an older person and let him or her know that you are genuinely interested in hearing about his or her life.
By Jenn Sturiale
That whole circle-of-life thing isn't just for cartoon lions and gazelles; we humans are bound to it just as firmly. As we get older, so do our parents and other loved ones. Difficult as it is to consider, they may one day need our help -- just as we once needed theirs.
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When people start talking about their past, they often remember more and more experiences. After the person starts talking, there may be little left to do except encourage him or her to explain things in more detail or to ask questions about specific events or people.
To encourage an older adult to talk about the past:
Show your interest in the person by sitting in a relaxed manner, looking at the person, and nodding your head often. This lets the person know that you want to and have time to listen.
Ask for a story. Use an open-ended statement to encourage the person to share a story. You can say, "Tell me what it was like when you went to high school (first got married, started your family, started your business)." Using the words "tell me" lets the person know that you want to hear a story.
Ask for clarification about things you don't understand. "I don't understand what you mean. Can you tell me more about that?"
Show that you are following the conversation by summarizing what the other person has just told you. You might say something like, "So, after high school you and Amy got married, but you didn't live together because she was taking care of her mother and you were needed on the farm."
Ask how the person feels about the subject under discussion. For example, if the person has described a snowstorm that occurred when he or she was 10 years old, you might ask, "Were you afraid when it snowed for 4 days and you were without electricity?"
Try not to ask questions that require only a one-word answer such as "yes" or "no."