Adult ADHD and Your Relationships
5 Warning Signs continued...
4. ''How could you forget a-g-a-i-n?''
Do you feel like you’re always getting blamed for forgetting things, when you know no one actually told you about them?
Consider this: The condition often causes people to forget things they’re told. And that can lead to major problems in relationships. If people have been telling you for years that you’re forgetful, it might be time to find out if they’re right.
5. ''I can’t believe you bought that -- you know we can’t afford it!''
Fights over finances tend to be another problem. A common ADHD symptom is doing things on impulse, and that includes buying things. Adults with the disorder can have reckless spending habits and trouble saving money.
What to Do
If you think you or someone you care about has adult ADHD, the first thing you should do is learn about the disorder and how it’s diagnosed.
You can start by looking over free online resources from organizations like Children and Adults with Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (CHADD) and the National Center on ADHD. These sites can help you find local doctors, and support groups where you can meet people facing similar issues. You can also find out how to get tested for the condition.
If you’re diagnosed with the condition, work with your doctor to deal with the problems you’re having day to day. Adult ADHD is often treated with a combo of medications, skills coaching, and psychotherapy, including couples counseling and cognitive behavioral therapy.
If you have a spouse or partner, it’s important for them to be involved. They often can tell which treatments are or aren’t working.
“It’s a good scenario if someone does have a supportive partner, so they can work together in a positive way to address the disorder,” Safren says. And the sooner you both work on repairing your relationship, the better.
Skills training or coaching can help people with adult ADHD come up with and reach relationship goals. This might include building skills that help you manage your time well and get organized.