Bonding With Baby Before Birth
Making a connection with your unborn child can strengthen the bond you share, make you feel closer, and enrich you and your baby's lives.
When Luminare-Rosen was pregnant, her husband made up a jingle
to sing to their daughter, Kylea, before she was born. It was one way her
husband could feel close to the baby before she was born, and even as an
infant, the jingle would have a soothing effect on Kylea. "Babies can
recognize music they've heard in the womb after they're born," says
Music provides a calm, harmonious environment in which the baby
can grow in the womb, says Luminare-Rosen, who has also developed an audiotape
called "Communing with Your Future Child."
That's not necessarily any music, however, she says.
Studies have shown that babies -- who begin hearing by the 18th week of
pregnancy -- prefer classical music (Mozart and Vivaldi are good standbys), or
any music that mimics the mother's heart rate of 60 beats per minute (lullabies
and New Age music, for example). Hard rock is not the way to go here,
especially since the amniotic fluid amplifies the sound. (An occasional
rock-out tune won't hurt the baby, says Luminare-Rosen, but a steady diet of it
won't make your growing baby all that happy.)
"Even in the womb the baby can respond," says
Luminare-Rosen. When the mother is frightened or upset, for example, the baby's
heart rate can double. Stands to reason then, that when the mother is calm and
relaxed, the baby will be, too.
Luminare-Rosen says that if you're pregnant you shouldn't worry
if you occasionally get upset or angry. "All pregnant women get emotionally
upset. But if you're chronically upset, this can have an effect on the child's
By providing a peaceful environment in which you and your baby
can bond before it's born, Luminare-Rosen says, your baby gets the message that
it's wanted and loved. She suggests communicating those feelings of love by
taking some time every day and sitting quietly, with your eyes closed, and
telling your baby how welcome it is in your life.
"Even if you're only bonding to a concept at that point,
and not the baby itself, you're establishing a connection that will continue
after the baby is born," says Luminare-Rosen. "You're expressing your