What Dads Expect When They're Expecting
What Dads Expect When Mom is Expecting
Just Do It continued...
D'Arcy says he wouldn't trade that time for anything. "I was given a
gift. Fifty years from now, when I look back, am I going to say, "God, I
wish I had started my business two years earlier. I wish I hadn't spent so much
time with my kids"? That thought, he says, is ludicrous. "The
relationships I have with my two daughters is extraordinary." He's divorced
now, but his daughters still spend 10 to 15 days a month with him.
But for many other dads to feel comfortable taking the family time they
want, social stigmas in the workplace and the home still have a long way to go.
The fear of career suicide, as well as a loss of income, still keep most men
from taking paternity leave, even if their companies offer it. Women often have
to shed their own conditioning, too.
"Women have a socialized need to be the primary caretaker or dominant
person in the home, so some women, when they're faced with the fact that a
father wants to be more involved or wants to be around more, often feel
somewhat displaced," Brott says.
For Mosio, fathering is the hardest thing he's ever done. But it's also one
of the most rewarding.
"I tend to be a perfectionist, and I'm putting a lot of energy towards
it," he says. "It's also much more time-consuming than I ever guessed.
But it's a life experience that I wouldn't ever want to miss. This is the
reason for being alive, I think. To share love and to have a family. It's one
of the few life experiences that if you don't have in your life, I think your
life is wasted."