Hitting January 2 is like going from 60 to zero in one day. The mandatory cheer, cooking, visitors, glitz, glitter, toys, a million chores -- have drowned out the drumbeats of war, the nuclear posturing, the fear of downsizing, all the doubts and fears, for a couple of weeks -- then, over, zip. What now?
The usual blah-blah New Year's resolutions -- lose 20 pounds, go to the gym more, spend more time with your family -- have a way of fading by mid-January as reality sets back in. You go to the office and facing you is a blank calendar. Before you get that sinking feeling -- think.
On my last day of vacation in Italy, a chatty café owner in Rome introduced me to a tall, charming Italian man. He was a local artist, I learned; his name was Marco. Just a day earlier, my friend Lynn and I had sat in a piazza in Florence talking about how hard it is to meet nice guys. It had been two years since my last relationship, and, admittedly, I'd grown a little standoffish with the opposite sex. Lynn and I agreed that I could open up a little more. So when I met Marco, I figured...
"A blank calendar means, literally, a clean slate," says Andrew J. DuBrin, PhD, professor of management at the Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, New York. "Think of something positive as of this very minute," he advises. "Say, you just got a little check from an insurance company -- even if it's only $36, that's positive. Maybe you got a compliment from the boss -- that's positive. And old customer calls -- that's positive."
"If you keep looking back at the old year -- especially last year -- you will get into a downward spiral," agrees Susan Battley, PsyD, PhD, a leadership psychologist and clinical associate professor at State University of New York at Stony Brook. "I believe in 'Three Bags Full.' A BAG is a 'Big Audacious Goal.'" Three is the absolute maximum (mileage may vary -- one might be more realistic).
Some Big Audacious Goals
What could be your BAG?
Learn a second language. Even pecking at learning a second language can shake things up and head you in a new direction, DuBrin says. He made the Spanish-language page of the El Paso Times his computer homepage and picks through the news in Spanish every morning.
Change careers. Every change starts with a defining moment -- maybe looking at your blank calendar of impending "same olds" can be that moment. Remember the job or city where you were happiest -- how could you get back to that?
Volunteer. You know what they say, "If you want something done, give it to a busy person." Doing well by doing good can make the other things in life seem more bearable. Tutor a student. Train your dog to be a therapy dog. Bake cookies and take them to the firehouse. Something!
Make more money. Start a second business. Find a safe place for your cash. Ever think of U.S. savings bonds? They are quite a buy now, experts say.
Join a dating service. No, not you married people! But if you are "between relationships," DuBrin says, why not do something about it for once? You may also meet people by volunteering.
Plant a tree. A piece in The Wall Street Journal said tree planting is on the decline. Learn about your tree and pamper it.
Whatever your BAG, Battley says it is not only important to put it in writing, but also to put in writing the steps you need to take and the obstacles you will face (this is allowable negative thinking). "People vaguely think things, but don't make a plan," Battley says. Strangely, she adds, it's the peak performers who can be their own harshest critics and get hung up. "Do this with a buddy and hold each other accountable," she instructs.