How to Get Everything You Want In Life
I have an extremely competent analytical brain, so I've been told by the standardized testing people, and in many situations it serves me well. I am an excellent chess player, I usually know what is about to happen next in the movie, and I have been able to win most of the arguments with most of the men who have lived with me, without crying or slamming doors. But my overactive (some would say obsessive) analytical brain can be the biggest impediment to listening to my heart's desire. In fact, sometimes I have to trick my logical brain into looking the other way for a minute to give my intuitive brain the floor. I look into the short stories and novels I write to see if my heart's desire is hiding in their plotlines, and into my dreams, and into the most passionate advice I give my friends. I pay attention to what my body is doing when I talk or think about a new life path. Is my chest open or closed? Am I standing straight or slumping? And most important, am I breathing? And how deeply? If I can't remember the last time I filled my diaphragm with air, I am probably making the wrong decision.
Out in the wilderness of southern Utah, the Red Rock Canyons served as a makeshift Atlantic Ocean, giving me enough space to think about moving in with my old friend Gary. I let the questions come: Was I breathing deeply? Was that happy nervous excitement in my voice, or abject fear? For the life of me, I couldn't be certain.
Barb, a simulation analysis engineer from Minneapolis, says that for her, fear is always part of the equation, but if she is doing something not because of fear, but despite fear, then she is doing what her heart desires. "If I don't hesitate, if I don't start trying to come up with all kinds of logic that will support my decision, it is probably the right one. If I have to talk myself into something, it's usually because I am trying to convince myself to do something that doesn't feel right in my gut."