How to Get the Life You Want
By Kristyn Kusek Lewis
been putting it off forever — that secret dream to start a business, write a
book, run a marathon.... Whatever your desire, ignoring it means denying who
you really are. And don't you deserve better? Here, your no-excuses, no-regrets
guide to answering the voice in your head that says, "I want
Ask yourself: Are you ready to finally tackle the burden or bad habit that's
been dragging you down? You're many things—maybe a wife and mom, prized
employee, baker extraordinaire, or president of your block association. But
perhaps there's another side of you that's itching to show itself, a yearning
you're desperate to follow—to, say, bring out your artistic side or get a
psychology degree. Or maybe you don't know what you want, because a dream you
once had isn't in sync with who you are now, or because you're overwhelmed with
all the choices out there.
Wherever you are on the dream spectrum, your aspiration may be slipping
away. "We let our dreams lag because our overcommitted lives make them seem
impractical," says life coach Laura Berman Fortgang, author of Now
What? 90 Days to a New Life Direction . "We're spread so thin that
it's hard to be 'selfish' and put your efforts toward something just for
you." Plus, going after a goal may be scary: The fear of failure—or of how
your life will change if you succeed—can be paralyzing.
Well, it's time to get moving! Here's why: When your day-to-day existence
gets packed with too many "have-to's" and not enough
"want-to's," you can end up with a constant, low-grade "Is this all
there is?" kind of fever. And that's no way to live.
So use this workbook to help you achieve your wildest fantasies in whatever
way they might fit into your life today. Over the past year, three women have
been featured in REDBOOK magazine's Live Your Dream series. These women, Denise
Mabilog, Cate Colburn-Smith, and Deb Busser, have accomplished amazing
things—from publishing a book to singing in a rock band! Now, we're bringing
their success secrets to you, with the help of Fortgang, who coached them. Ask
yourself the following questions, and then read on to pinpoint your dream—and
what it says about you. Then learn how to make it happen.
Ask yourself: Is there a passion you've abandoned because there's no room for it in your "real life"?
Photography or tennis or painting or sewing or...?
The mountain of responsibilities we take on as adults often leads us to
abandon activities that once brought us joy. Maybe as a child you lived for
tennis camp, but haven't picked up a racket since you had your own kids. For
42-year-old Denise Mabilog of Swedesboro, NJ, the fantasy of becoming a
photographer—a dream she clung to through the time she graduated college—gave
way to a challenging law career.