How to Get the Life You Want
Ask yourself: Is it time to cash in on a moneymaking idea that will make you feel more self-sufficient?
Go back to work or open a bakery or switch careers or launch a Web-based
On the surface this dream has a lot to do with financial gain and security,
but it really arises from a need to find a vocation that has meaning for
you—one where your "work self" and your "true self" can meet.
As Fortgang puts it, "It's not just what you do, but who you get to be when
you're doing it." The hardest part about this kind of goal is convincing
yourself that you're qualified to take it on, says Fortgang. Here's how to
muster your courage.
Step 1: Redefine "expert."
You might think that people who succeed in their field spend years learning
about their craft before they take a single step forward. Not so! "I tell
clients to start thinking of an 'expert' as someone who knows how to get the
answers, not someone who knows all the answers," says Fortgang. So do some
investigating to find out the first step you need to take to make your dream a
reality—which will instantly empower you. Should you get a degree or advanced
training? Does anyone else have a patent for your product idea? Even the
tiniest bit of information will help propel you forward.
Step 2: Road-test your dream.
Small forays are fine. Substitute or volunteer at a school before you commit
to a full-time teaching career. Gauge reactions to your dream of opening a
bakery by offering to sell sweets at your kid's next school function. A little
experience will help you fine-tune your plan and determine your potential for
success before you take big risks with your time or money.
Step 3: Establish a time frame.
"When I started my life-coaching business 15 years ago, my husband and I
decided I'd try it for one year, and then I'd evaluate my progress and decide
whether to move forward," says Fortgang. By having a specific "just try
it out" period, you stay focused on your goal without any do-or-die
Ask yourself: Do you have the guts to go after the "just once" dream you've never dared to try?
Run a marathon or go on an African safari or sing in a rock band or try
These "one-hit wonder" dreams often represent deeper longings, says
Fortgang, that might not even be on your radar. Take, for instance, 40-year-old
Deb Busser of Dunstable, MA, who dreamed of singing with a rock band. Busser
discovered that achieving this goal was really a way to prove that she could
fearlessly just be herself in front of a group and become a motivational
speaker. Here's how to accomplish your fantasy and reveal the hidden desire it