Your holiday fantasy: You settle into a comfy chair with your feet up, a cup
of eggnog in hand, firelight warming the room. Scents of rare and wonderful
foods drift through your perfectly decorated house. You are comforted by
thoughts of peace on earth, goodwill toward all, family harmony, and merry
times spent with friends and relatives.
The reality: Jostling crowds, traffic jams, shopping lists that grow ever
longer. Extra cooking, cleaning, and decorating chores. Winter colds and flu.
Travel. A stress level that just about sends you over the edge.
By Gretchen Rubin
I'm a real gold-star junkie. One of my worst qualities is my insatiable need for credit; I always want the recognition, the praise, that gold star stuck on my homework. Recently, I was grumbling to my mother about the fact that some extraordinarily praiseworthy effort on my part had gone unremarked upon. My mother wisely responded, "Most people probably don't get the appreciation they deserve." That's right, I realized — for instance, my mother herself! I certainly don't give her...
Can the holidays truly be happy? And more important, how can you cope with
the stresses of the season? WebMD talked with the National Mental Health
Association (NMHA), whose experts say the trick is to get real, lower your
expectations, and remember that your family isn't perfect-and neither are
Here are some helpful hints from the NMHA to help you make your holidays as
happy -- and headache-free -- as possible.
Set realistic goals
This is key for keeping expectations simple -- for yourself and others.
Make a budget and stick to it
Financial worries add more stress. Don't try to keep up with everyone else.
Spend what youcan afford. Seek out free activities.
Try not to overeat or drink excessively to escape stressful feelings. Eat
healthy foods and get plenty of exercise. Allow for extra time when
The holidays are more than one day; spread enjoyable activities throughout the
Try to stay in the present
Look forward to the future. Life is full of change. Consider what is important
in your life and good about these times. Don't set yourself up by comparing
today with the good old days.
Organize your time
Make a list and star the important activities. Be realistic about what you can
and cannot do.
Honor your own feelings
Remember that the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or
lonely. There is room for these feelings to be present.
Spend time with supportive and caring people
Don't waste your energy on "toxic" people or distant acquaintances.
Save time for yourself
Recharge your batteries. Let others share some of the responsibilities.