You're working hard to quit smoking, eat healthy, or exercise more. You're truly committed. Then you make one tiny misstep and the temptation to give up pokes at you -- hard. How you talk to yourself in those moments can help you stay on course or take a discouraging detour.
Consider this study: One group of water polo athletes used positive self-talk while they learned a new task. Another group didn't.
By Gretchen Rubin
I'm a real gold-star junkie. One of my worst qualities is my insatiable need for credit; I always want the recognition, the praise, that gold star stuck on my homework. Recently, I was grumbling to my mother about the fact that some extraordinarily praiseworthy effort on my part had gone unremarked upon. My mother wisely responded, "Most people probably don't get the appreciation they deserve." That's right, I realized — for instance, my mother herself! I certainly don't give her...
The athletes who fed upbeat thoughts to their brains improved more than those who didn’t. They also had fewer interfering thoughts and were able to focus more on what they were learning.
When you find your thoughts veering toward the negative, how do you bring yourself back to a sunnier outlook? Try one of these tactics.
If You Can't Say Something Nice...
“If a friend came to you feeling down, would you beat them over the head? Probably not -- yet that’s what we often do to ourselves,” says Sofia Rydin-Gray, PhD. She is director of health psychology at Duke Diet and Fitness Center in Durham, NC.
As you try to become more positive, start by simply noticing how often you talk down to yourself. If the voice you hear in your head belongs to someone you would never want to be around, it's time to replace it.
"Then next time you beat yourself up, ask: If I was talking with my best friend right now, how would I encourage them? Speak to yourself just as gently as you would a person you love,” Rydin-Gray says.
Hold Onto the Evidence
In a bad moment, it’s possible you will dismiss all the hard work you’ve done. “But if you track your success, you have tangible evidence of your efforts and behavior change,” Rydin-Gray says.
Your weight is one thing you can track. But relying on that record alone might not be your best choice, especially if you have a lot of weight to lose.
Track several behaviors, like your daily physical activity, how often you eat breakfast, whether you make it to a gym class, and even the number of times you choose a healthy snack, Rydin-Gray suggests.
That way when a moment of self-sabotage strikes, you can pull out your records -- and celebrate every single healthy choice you've made.