The Simple Secret to a Happier Life
If you want to get it all done — and perfectly — at work... continued...
How to Let Go
Watch what you tell yourself. "Saying things like, ‘I'll never catch up,' or ‘I'm always stressed,' will overwhelm you further and keep you working late," says Robinson. Instead, she advises, repeat calming (and true) messages such as, "When I clock out at a decent hour, I'm so much more productive the next day," and "Nothing tragic will happen if I turn this in tomorrow morning instead of at 8 tonight."
Try to step back and pinpoint why you're being so obsessive about your job. Could it be that you're avoiding problems at home or other personal issues? That your self-esteem hinges entirely on your career? "Ask yourself, What's missing in my life? What would be fun? " suggests Robinson. Then, make little steps toward positive change — get yourself to the gym instead of staying an extra hour at work, or meet a friend for coffee on the way home.
For Manning, letting go meant carving out official downtime. "I promised myself that two days a week I'd walk away from my desk at 5:30 p.m.," she says. "I literally scheduled time with my husband and daughter so I'd be forced to leave, and vowed not to check e-mails or my BlackBerry at home." Setting boundaries made all the difference. "Now I can sit and breathe and enjoy dinner with my family," says Manning. "I'm still getting as much work done — yet I have a life now!"
If you'd like your husband to be Mr. Romance...
It's a lovely daydream: Your husband surprises you at your office with flowers on Friday afternoon and whisks you off for a romantic weekend getaway. But the reality is that he's tied up at work, there's the Saturday morning soccer carpool to deal with — and, really, who would watch the kids all weekend?
Several years into my own marriage, I would find myself glancing at my husband, Tony, sitting comfortably in his recliner, mesmerized by a rerun of This Old House, and wondering whatever happened to the lovestruck young guy who first wowed me with flowers, gifts, and impromptu weekend trips. Of course I knew he still loved me at least as much as he loved circular saws and crown molding — yet I couldn't help but crave the attention, romance, and affection that he used to shower on me during our first years together.