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Getting Over a Breakup

Getting over a breakup can take awhile, especially if it was painful. Fortunately, there are strategies that can speed the process and reduce the suffering.

Question:


I recently just came out of a two-year relationship. I really took it badly. I had no clue that it was coming. When we broke up, he just said that he needed some time, a break. That he doesn't want to be a boyfriend to anybody right now. On the other hand, he has told me that he doesn't want to lose me as a friend. He said that perhaps we could even start all over again later on. Right now, I'm really hurting because I felt like I gave it all. I put all my emotions out to him. However, I really care for him as a person. In spite of this, he was a good person to me. He helped me through a lot of things, as I did for him. And he made me laugh. I just wish it was two months later already, when I've already moved past the bad feelings. How do I get over the breakup? I feel like I'm so lost and so alone.

Answer:

I am sorry for your loss. Unfortunately, when getting over a breakup there's going to be a period of pain before you regain your balance.

You will simply have to endure some of it, but there are strategies for reducing the suffering.

One method is to volunteer some of your time to help others at soup kitchens, churches, and hospitals. The giving part of your personality is also a great healer!

Another strategy is to use the relationship as a real learning experience. With the help of a trained counselor, you can find out what really happened and why. This can prove invaluable for future relationships.

The beauty of learning is that you can move ahead with confidence rather than fear or bitterness.

You can also see the warning signs more clearly in the future and through counseling learn what steps to take when you see them.

Keep in mind, too, that the pain and anxiety you feel when getting over a breakup are valuable teachers. Allow the pain to roll around your psyche for a while. There is nothing to fear from it, but there's plenty to learn from it. Pain is just another experience.

One of the powerful learning tools for getting over a breakup is journaling. Write down your daily thoughts and emotions during this period of grief. Journaling is a masterful teacher.

Let me know what steps you are taking and how you are dealing and feeling.


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