Everyday Playtime for Adults

Remember making mud pies as a kid? Think of how squishy the wet soil felt between your hands, and how you loved to shape the patties. Or how about the time when you rode your bike for hours around the neighborhood, stopping only when you got tired?

The days of pure fun, when you could run around without a care in the world, may seem far away with today's endless list of things to do, but it may be possible to recapture some of the enjoyment of childhood and incorporate it into a busy adult life.

How? First of all, before figuring out how to integrate playtime into the juggernaut, it may help to know exactly what we're trying to fit in.

In order for something to be enjoyable, experts agree that freedom of choice and the perception of control are critical factors. For example, a person who loves gourmet cooking might not necessarily find pleasure in preparing a dinner that he or she feels roped into doing. Likewise, people who think they ought to schedule leisure time into their lives may be defeating the purpose.

It's another should in the day, explains Gina Dingwell, RN, coordinator of the Mind-Body Program at the Tzu Chi Institute for Complementary and Alternative Medicine in Vancouver. Dingwell says people tend to go on overdrive and pack even their off-work time with too many activities they think they should be doing, such as sports or social events. Instead of stacking up the shoulds, she recommends finding ways to ease up, and having compassion for ourselves.

"It's about checking in," says Dingwell, noting that the following questions might help determine whether an activity is the right thing to do at the moment: Is this going to energize me? Is it going to be putting me in a place where I'm going to feel better? Or am I just going to feel more like this is a duty?

The answer to some of these queries entails knowing yourself, whether you are a social person, or someone who prefers more intimate settings. It will involve knowing whether you like playing softball, figuring out crossword puzzles, or watching the opera. The crucial element is that you are doing something that is inherently delightful to you, and not partaking in it because of other incentives such as guilt, pay, or social status. Take the little child who is making mud patties. He is doing it because he is enjoying himself and for no other reason.

Howard E.A. Tinsley, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at Southern Illinois University, says the proper level of stimulation is also key to enjoyment. For instance, if a person who likes to work crossword puzzles finds the clues too easy, he or she may be bored with it. On the other hand, a puzzle that requires knowing a technical vocabulary may be so difficult that there is no opportunity to feel good about filling in the spaces.