Anger,Hostility,and Violent Behavior - Home Treatment
If you are angry, hostile, or
violent, it is important to find help. You can learn ways to control your
feelings and actions. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free
at 1-800-799-7233 or the National Department on Mental Health at
1-888-793-4357. These agencies can help you find the help you need.
You can control your feelings of anger or hostility and avoid violence.
Think before you act. Take time to stop and cool
down when you feel yourself becoming angry. Count to 10, or practice some other
form of mental relaxation. When you have calmed down, you will be better able
to deal with your conflict thoughtfully.
Recognize feelings that
often lead to angry outbursts. Do you have trouble dealing with feelings of
sadness, confusion, or helplessness? Identify these feelings, and develop
positive ways to express them.
Come up with a reasonable
explanation of why you are angry. If a person triggers your anger, suggest to
yourself that perhaps the person is having a bad day.
situations that trigger your anger.
If you have trouble coping with heavy
traffic, try to adjust your work schedule so that you do not have to travel in
peak traffic hours.
Do errands at less-busy times if standing in
line bothers you.
Evaluate your lifestyle choices. Anger and
hostility may be a symptom of unhappy feelings or
depression about your job, your relationship, or other
aspects of your personal life.
Notice when you start to become
angry, and learn to express your feelings in a positive manner. Don't just
ignore your anger until you "blow up." Express anger in a healthy way:
Give yourself a "time-out." Go someplace
quiet to allow yourself time to calm down.
Try screaming or yelling
in a private place, not at other people.
Go for a short walk or
Talk about your feelings with a friend. Avoid gossiping about
the person you are upset with.
Draw, paint, or listen to music to
release the anger.
Write in a daily journal.
Develop assertive skills to replace your aggressive
behavior. Use "I" statements, not "you" statements, to discuss your anger. Say
"I don't feel valued when my needs are not being met" instead of "You make me
mad when you are so inconsiderate."
Listen to what the other person
has to say. This can be hard. Try to understand his or her point of view.
Seek to understand, then to be understood.
Explore other resources
that may be available through your job or your community.
Contact your human resources department at work to
see whether you have services available through an employee assistance
Contact your local hospital, mental health facility, or
health department to see what types of programs or support groups are available
in your area.
Read books on anger and how to handle
Forgive and forget. Forgiving helps lower blood pressure and
ease muscle tension so you can feel more relaxed.