The Bartender continued...
- Get out of your own head. "Focus on the other person instead of thinking about how you look," he says. "Be interested as opposed to being interesting. Ask people questions about themselves and stop worrying about your outfit. When people are interested in others, you can see the confidence radiating from them.
- Put your phone away. If you're checking your smartphone every five minutes, not only does it tell people you're not paying attention to them, but it actually makes you look bad. "That blue light makes your face look ghoulish! And nobody likes to be second-tiered," he says.
The Image Consultant
Wardrobe consultant Terri Ghio runs The Style Institute, an online personal stylist training and coaching program. Too many people are stuck dressing and styling themselves the way they used to in high school, or based on a look in a magazine that doesn't suit them. "No wonder they have no confidence!" she says.
To feel better about how you look, she says:
- Find your favorite outfit -- the one that you wear over and over again and makes you feel like a million bucks. Put it on and ask yourself why it's so perfect. Is it the color? Cut? Fabric? Look for other items that have that same feel.
- "Shop for your body shape. No matter how beautiful clothes are, if they're not made to suit you, they won't look good and you won't feel good," says Ghio.
- Find the one thing you love about yourself and make sure that's what you focus on. "Everybody has something," she says. "If you have great eyebrows, make sure your haircut focuses attention on them."
The Fitness Expert
Laura Williams, a fitness manager with a master's degree in exercise and sports science, runs Girls Gone Sporty, a web site that promotes a healthy, active lifestyle without focusing specifically on weight.
- Step away from the mirror. It's one thing to stand in front of the mirror to put on makeup or check out how your outfit looks, but when that look turns into a stare, it's way too easy to become obsessed. So check to make sure there's no lipstick on your teeth and your part is straight, and then go.
- Compliment yourself. The minute you find yourself thinking, "I hate my thighs," counter that negative thought with something positive, like "I love my thick, wavy hair."
- Exercise. Long-term, of course, working out will give you a better body, but even before that happens, Williams says, half an hour of getting sweaty will make you feel better about your body.