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Belonging, Learning, and Contributing Checklist

Developing a sense of belonging, learning, and contributing can help your child develop healthy self-esteem. Use this brief checklist as a daily reminder for yourself.


Every day, I will show my child that he or she belongs.

  • I let my child know (in at least two ways) that I love him or her.
  • I looked at the list of my child's good qualities that is posted on my refrigerator. I added one or more qualities, if needed.
  • I praised my child at least two times as often (or more) as I made negative comments.
  • I listened to my child's concerns and problems and identified his or her feelings, if needed.
  • We had family time today or we have family time planned for this week.

At least once a week, I will have my child involved in structured activities with his or her peers.


At least once a week, I will create a learning opportunity for my child.

  • My child had at least one fun learning experience this week.
  • I let my child try the learning experience without taking over for him or her.
  • It was a complex task, so we broke it down into small steps.
  • I praised my child for his or her efforts.
  • We planned a time to practice the new skill again, if needed.


Every day, I will let my child know that he or she is contributing in some way.

  • We posted our list of family rules(What is a PDF document?) in a spot that helps remind all of us.
  • I showed respect for my child in one way today.
  • My child has a list of chores that he or she is responsible for. My child understands how to do those chores and the consequences of not doing them.
  • We scheduled a regular family meeting (if your family members have agreed to have meetings).
  • I made one statement or did one thing to show my child that he or she is part of our family.
  • I held my child accountable for his or her choices, behavior, and responsibilities. I enforced the natural or logical consequences, when needed.
  • I told my child at least once today that I appreciated something cooperative that he or she had done.

ByHealthwise Staff
Primary Medical ReviewerSusan C. Kim, MD - Pediatrics
Specialist Medical ReviewerLouis Pellegrino, MD - Developmental Pediatrics
Last RevisedApril 6, 2012

WebMD Medical Reference from Healthwise

Last Updated: April 06, 2012
This information is not intended to replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise disclaims any liability for the decisions you make based on this information.

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