First, the moms took their 30-month-old children to the researchers' lab.
The researchers videotaped each pair during playtime (with the moms enforcing
rules about toys), while the moms read to and talked with their children, and
as the kids worked on puzzles that were too hard for their age.
In short, the researchers loaded the lab session with fodder for
parent-child conflicts. The kids couldn't get certain toys they wanted, and the
puzzle task was designed to be frustrating. All in all, there were plenty of
opportunities for meltdowns all around.
When the kids were 36 months old, their moms tape-recorded their
interactions with that child just before and during dinner time. The point was
to get an idea of how the moms and toddlers interact in their home, not in an
"Mothers and toddlers were arguing on average between 20-25 times an
hour at both assessment periods," write Lehigh University's Deborah Laible,
PhD, and colleagues.
That average is based on a wide range of hourly quarrels, from a low of four
conflicts per hour to a high of 55 arguments per hour. Remember, the moms and
kids were only studied during times when conflict was likely; they probably
didn't clash like that around the clock.
Those conflicts were more likely to get resolved without major drama if the
kids had a good relationship with their mother and weren't especially
temperamental, active, or impulsive, according to surveys completed by the
Those factors didn't affect the frequency of the mother-child conflicts.
Such conflicts are normal and frequent during the toddler and early preschool
years, Laible's team writes.
Their study appears in the March/April 2008 issue of Child