A Mountain of Strength

WebMD Member Columns We asked readers of the Multiple Sclerosis newsletter to tell us about their lives with MS.

Hindsight Is 20/20 | Stories Shared | Order Out of Chaos | From Symptoms to Diagnosis | Attitude Is Everything | My Faith Is Strong | A Human Pincushion | Diagnosis in Just Months | A Better Perspective | A Glorious Task | Everything for a Reason | A Great Escape | We'll See What Happens | MS Is Not a Disability | Keep Your Head Up | Light at the End of the Tunnel | Retirement With a Twist | Coming to Terms With MS | Long Journey to Diagnosis | A Mountain of Strength

On a Sunday morning I awoke to find the right side of my face completely numb. This was the first indication that something was wrong. I was a healthy, 34-year-old wife, and mother of two boys. My days were filled with a flurry of activity. I had a happy, normal life.

When I called my doctor about the strange numbness, he sent me to the emergency room. The doctor told me she was 99% sure I was having a shingles attack, and sent me home. I had no rash, and shingles are not common in someone my age. I didn't doubt her because after all, she said she was 99% sure.

I went home and waited for the horrible outbreak of shingles to arrive.

Over the next few days my numbness spread, and I developed vertigo. My doctor sent me to the hospital. I underwent numerous tests, and it was determined that I had Multiple Sclerosis.

I was very early into the illness and began treatment right away. This meant I had to give myself injections every other day, and take medications to help fight the intense fatigue and neuropathic pain I had begun to experience. It was overwhelming, and had really put the brakes on a hectic mom's life.

I also found the most unbelievable mountain of strength and support in my friends and neighborhood. My family was across the country, and although they were here when I was going through the diagnostic process, they couldn't be here for the daily challenge of living with MS. And I really needed help. My husband took as much time off from work as he could and helped a lot when he came home. He was wonderful.

The cards, letters, flowers, dinners, carpool help, babysitting, and supportive calls came pouring in from friends and neighbors. I was taken into the hearts of my friends and given a gift of support I can hardly describe. It still brings me to tears. They really helped me deal with my diagnosis.

I learned more about MS and discovered the much needed resource of online MS message boards. I have found much needed strength and comfort from these people online. This resource has helped me not feel alone with the strange things happening to my body -- most of which are undetectable because the symptoms caused by MS are mostly inside of me and not visible to everyone. This is understood by every person with MS.

We hear "you look so good" from well-meaning people all of the time. It is very frustrating. Just because we look good and we don't want to answer every "How are you?" with the list of nagging pains we feel, no one can truly understand.

Do I feel the love and support of my family and friends? Yes! Do I feel alone and misunderstood? Yes! Do I feel scared about my future? Yes! Am I hoping for a cure? Yes! Do I fear it will never be found? Yes!

It is now my fifth month of living with MS. I am still on treatment, and unfortunately, more medicines. I am still battling MS everyday. My doctor tells me when we find the right combination of treatments I may begin to feel "normal" again. So this is what I hope for, for me, my family, and for the thousands and thousands of men and women like myself who battle MS everyday.

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