This article is from the WebMD Feature Archive

The holidays loom large on the horizon -- time for overspending and those well-intentioned visits with -- let's admit it -- a less-than-functional family. If the holidays leave you feeling dissatisfied, could be you're ready for a change.

"A lot of people are on autopilot during the holidays," says Herb Rappaport, PhD, a clinical psychologist at Temple University in Philadelphia. He is the author of Holiday Blues: Rediscovering the Art of Celebration. "They celebrate the same way they always have, year after year, and end up finding themselves depressed."

High expectations are part of the problem. "We expect the holidays to be a Norman Rockwell painting, but they rarely live up to that image," says Kenneth Goodrick, PhD, associate professor of family and community medicine at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston. He is also author of the book Energy, Peace, Purpose.

We also lose sight of the celebration's true meaning, Goodrick tells WebMD. "People forget to focus on what's important in life. Relationships -- that's where we should be focusing. Families are supposed to be a team, your bedrock infrastructure of social support that helps you deal with the real world."

"Our society is both interesting and cumbersome," Rappaport says. "We have a tremendous amount of personal freedom, but with that comes a lot of responsibility. You have to invent both yourself and your traditions. And you can't do it lightly. You have to be mindful of how your actions affect others in your life."

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