Bob's Story

Noticing Warning Signs

Bob (Mary's support partner)

Mary was always very upbeat and bubbly. She always would come in and at all holidays and all kinds of family things. She was always pretty much kinda like the glue that held us all together really.

But then...we started noticing that she didn't come around as much. And umm she just didn't have a good look to her. She just didn't look really healthy.

Mary

My entire identity was tied into my job. I just kept trying to do more and more.

The challenge is if you, you know, what's the old saying, you know, all work and no play makes you a very dull person. Well it can also make you a very depressed person.

Bob

It was just always so hard to read Mary. It—it was just difficult. She just tried to hide it so much for everyone's benefit.

Mary

And the emotions just really took over me.

Bob

And then she started spending an awful lot of time alone in her apartment. And we were very worried about her.

Stepping in to Help

Bob

We decided that my daughters were so good—they had such a good relationship with her, they intervened first.

Mary

And one of my nieces, uh, knew someone that—that would be a very good person, uh, for me to go see.

Bob

I think that she had reached a point where she knew that, you know, she just couldn't go on without it.

She had to let herself be helped with the doctor and with medication.

Seeing a Change With Cymbalta

Bob

I think Cymbalta has just given her life again. She—she is, um, able to do more things and just seems to have the will to do things and wanting to do things.

Bob

Her personality seems to be more, you know, real, um, I think at one time she just put on a happy face but she really seems to laugh down deep now and we—we have a lot of good laughs together and—and it's—things seem to be better.

Mary

I don't have to act in front of them. It's okay to just be me.

Bob

One of the good signs has been, uh, Mary has put her application in at a couple of the department stores. And, uh, and, uh, I think that—that if that would happen, that would be a really good thing to just slowly get back out there and, you know, get on her feet again.

But I try not to push Mary.

When she feels like doing something, to, you know, support her in every way but never to say like, you know, you—you really need to go look for a job or you really should get out of the house more. I just try and let her go at her pace.

Being Supportive

Bob

I think it's very important to, um, be more of a listener than a—an advice giver. Um, obviously I'm not trained to—to give advice, but I can listen and I can learn. And we have some pretty good talks. I enjoy talking with her very much. So hopefully it's helping some.

My wish for Mary would be that we would have the old Mary back the way she was back before all this, uh, very happy, bubbly, loving, caring, my little sis. My little sis, that's what I want back.