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The Secret to Relationship Success

By Liza Jane Maltin WebMD Feature

Reviewed By Gary Vogin, MD

May 9, 2002 -- It seems reasonable to think that couples who spend a lot of time doing leisure activities together are among the happiest. But it's not necessarily so, a new study shows.

Duane W. Crawford, PhD, of Texas Tech University in Lubbock, and colleagues looked at how time spent at leisure activities affects marital satisfaction.

They followed 73 newlywed couples for 13 years, periodically interviewing each partner on which leisure activities they liked and disliked, how much time they spent in shared and unshared activities, and how happy they were with their relationship.

The researchers report some "surprising findings" that "challenge the prevailing view that marital companionship promotes marital satisfaction."

First, couples who liked many of the same activities did not necessarily pursue more leisure activities together, but when they did participate together in activities that both enjoyed, the husbands reported being happier both two and 13 years into the marriage.

Second, "couples who participated together in activities that only one spouse liked were less happy both two years and 13 years later," they write. The wives, in particular, "were less happy early in marriage and became less happy with their marriage over time when couples spent more time together in leisure activities that only husbands liked."

In a review of the study, Shirley A. Hill, PhD, from the department of sociology at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, writes, "Not surprisingly, it appears that women in marriage may be more willing to 'give,' even when it means their later dissatisfaction."

Interestingly, wives also reported less marital satisfaction over time even if their husbands pursued the disliked activities on their own.

"We found that the association between companionship and satisfaction is less robust than previously believed, and that it depends on how often spouses pursue activities that reflect their own and their partner's leisure preferences," the researchers conclude.

Their full report appears in the May issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.

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