My name is beck24. I've had lupus since I was 17 and didn't get it diagnosed until I was 19. At that age I knew that I was sick but still was going to live like a teenager, after all I was living in Hawaii. During that time I ended up in the hospital for a severe kidney infection. I had so many painful tests done because they had no clue on what was causing the temperature.

When I was 20 I got married, and my new husband was a MP in the Army. I was young and thought life was going to get easier. Boy, did I get a wake up call! My husband and I left HI and moved to North Carolina. I found out that I was pregnant while we were on our way to NC. Little did I know that all this excitement was going to be too much for me.

In April, I had a pre-eclampsia pregnancy. I had an emergency C-section, and from what I understand they had asked my husband that he had to decide who he wanted them to save. He chose me and with God's help, me and my son were given a chance. I was in ICU for a week and didn't get to hold my son until he was 3 days old. I understood how sick I was and that I would be home soon.

The day I got home from the hospital was fine until I got the news that my husband would be leaving the next morning for airborne school. I was hurt that he would be leaving me and our son that soon. He would only be gone for 2 weeks, but I still felt it was wrong. During that time my mom stayed to make sure I would be okay, and also more time to recover. That time I will treasure for the rest of my life, because I got to know more about my mom.

In May, we found out that my husband's company was going to Central America. They were leaving at the end of June and would be coming back in October. During the time he was gone I had my check up by the same doctor who delivered our son. He told me that I was his first patient that scared him. He had a few tears when he told me how lucky I was to be alive, he also advised me that I shouldn't have any more children. It would be in the best interest given what I just went through for my husband to be the one to get himself fixed. I told the doctor that he needed to explain that one to my husband, and that would never happen because he was out of the country!

I took our son and my cousin who was with me at that time to New England, since my stepdad was in the army and they were only 14 hours away. I would be back by the time my husband would be back from Central America.

When that time came, our son was 6 months old. And we had just gotten a roommate. He worked with my husband and while they were in Central America his wife divorced him. It seemed like all me and my husband were doing was fighting, so I got our son's stuff and my friend and went to New England, turned around and took my friend back and went back to New England. In March I found out that I was pregnant and my husband and I decided to work on our marriage. So, I went back.

In April, my Mom was there to celebrate my son's first birthday, and so I was off to the doctor, only to find out I had a STD, and I knew that I hadn't done anything with anyone while my husband was gone. He had tried to turn the situation on me cause he knew he was in the wrong. In June, I found all the proof I needed when we received 2 letters from the girl he was seeing down there. Like a fool I stayed with him. Right before our daughter was born my doctor wrote a letter to his company and had him come back from his work. As time went by, me and my husband were fighting a lot, and there were times when he would leave and not come back. My life was falling apart right before my eyes. And my doctors would just tell me that my husband would never accept the fact that I was sick, and would always be sick. They never once offered us help or support.

In November, my husband was back in the US in a neighboring state, and me and the kids stayed where we were until we got housing with him. That month, I had woken up sick, but managed to get my son off to school. I was unable to take care of my daughter, because I was alone and had no strength to do anything. I couldn't make it to the bathroom to throw up! Boy did I have a mess to clean up!

Later my neighbor went to my house to see what was going on, and found me sick in bed and decided to take me to the ER and her husband would take care of my kids and notify my husband. I told the doctor that I had been throwing up since 7 a.m. and it was now 11 p.m. Well he told me that he would give me an IV if I thought I needed one (and I thought he was the doctor). I explained that I have Lupus and all he said was that I had a UTI and bladder and kidney infections, gave me some medication and sent me home.

My husband was on his way home, so I would wait for him. I felt better for a while then started to throw up again. This went on for a few more hours and I finally got some sleep. The next day my husband thought since I was feeling better that he would go back to work. As soon as he left, I started feeling sick again. And so I called 911 and got an ambulance and called my neighbor to take care of the kids, and of course to notify my husband again.

This time I was admitted into the hospital, due to the infections I was diagnosed with the night before, and also it made the Lupus go into a major attack. After a few days in the hospital I went back home and my husband took care of me and the kids while we waited for my mom and cousin to come take care of us for a while.

Who knew that in December, I would end up calling 911 again! This time it was that my heart was beating over 200 beats a minute. They rushed me to the hospital and all tests were run and happy to find out that it was not a heart attack. All this made the military find housing for me and the kids that much faster! We were with my husband by Christmas.

Then in May, I got news that my uncle had passed away. And during that time me and my husband had been fighting, and he was so distant that I knew that something was wrong. Well I went to the funeral and of course I had my kids with me, and my husband told me when I got back we were going to get divorced. I was devastated, and tried to maintain myself for my family.

After the funeral my grandmother got ill and the doctor told us that she was dying of pancreatic cancer (just like my uncle who we just laid to rest). So I told my husband what was going on and he knew that I was going to stay for a while with my grandma. In July my cousin's husband had 2 of their 4 kids with him and they got in an accident and their daughter was killed. My family was grieving again, and after the funeral, my grandma passed away that night.

After her funeral, my husband told me that our stuff was in storage and he no longer had housing. I didn't know what to do or where to go. So I stayed at my parents' house, I would only be there until my stepdad would find out when he was going to be medically discharged. In October we got more news that my cousin who was only 19 drowned. More sadness was brought to my family.

At the end of October me and my kids moved to Texas. We are closer to my sister in case I ever need help with the kids. In November I got an apartment and went back to the storage unit to get the stuff for the kids and rented a U-Haul and me and the kids headed back to Texas. I've been here since, and am trying to stay healthy for my children. Even though life gets hard and throws all kinds of stuff at you, you have to remember that in the end you will come out a winner.