Getting Out and About
Know the route that Grandpa takes to his regular daytime activities.
Make sure Mom carries identification and your contact information with her whenever she's out of the house.
Check that your senior's car is well maintained. Check often for problems with windshield wipers, tires, and brakes.
Even those who drive safely by day may suffer night blindness, which is common among seniors. Ride along with your loved one periodically at different times of day to assess these skills.
AARP (formerly the American Association of Retired Persons) offers a course called 55/ALIVE for mature drivers. It's designed to help troubleshoot a lot of the problems seniors develop in driving. If you suspect your loved one needs help, insist he take this course. It may help convince him if you let him know he'll probably get a reduction in his car insurance when he completes the course. Call toll-free at 1-888-227-7669 or go to aarp.org/55alive.
A problem seniors often have with night driving is that they're more likely to be "blinded" by bright headlights. There are special glare-reduction glasses your senior can wear to avoid this problem.
Remove the distributor cap from Mom's car or take the keys if she shouldn't be driving but is being really stubborn about it. Loss of the ability to drive can be extremely upsetting for seniors-many consider it to be the single most difficult change they face. Recognize this and work to set up practical transportation alternatives so Mom won't feel completely stranded.
Take the time to teach Dad necessary public transportation routes (to and from the senior center, etc.). Accompany him the first few times to make sure he knows what to do in case there are glitches.
Great gift idea: a small change purse filled with a supply of transportation tokens or the correct change if your mother's using a senior discount pass.
Great gift idea: a small change purse filled with a supply of transportation tokens or the correct change if your mother's using a senior discount pass.
Many individual organizations provide transportation to and from their facilities or meetings. Examples are hospital or senior center shuttles, or church or synagogue carpools. Make sure to look into these options if Mom needs a way to get to the doctor's office or to Sunday services.
If you add up the expense of owning a car-paying for insurance, gas, and maintenance, plus tolls-it might not come out to much more than your parent would spend if he hired a private car service, assuming he doesn't drive more than a few times a week. What a luxury!
Arrange for a responsible teenage personal escort to help your parent on shopping trips and other excursions.
Almost all local stores offer home delivery: groceries, pharmacies, laundries, and the like. Use these services as freely as possible. Keep their phone numbers with you at all times.
Get to know the people who see your senior every day: the neighbors, store owners, and mail carriers. They can be a valuable source of information when you need it.
When waiters are especially kind and patient with your party, be sure your gratitude is reflected in your tip. Let everyone around you know that helping seniors is good for us all.
| "My daughter got her driver's license a few months ago, and of course she is always lobbying to borrow my car. We have a deal: if she takes her grandmother on an outing once a week (to the library or one of the other places Mom likes), then she gets the car for Saturday night. She's a pretty responsible driver anyway, but having my mother in the car reminds her to be extra careful. And while the museum with Grandma isn't as exciting as the movies with her friends, I think she and my mother both enjoy it." |
| - Rodney Banks |
If Mom needs a walker but is too modest to make the change, she might just take a nice sturdy shopping cart with her when she goes out. It won't take the place of a walker, since it's not made for that purpose, but maybe she'll come to see that she really does need the extra support and relent.
Twenty Good Outings
| 1. | Visit the library. |
| 2. | Wander through a museum (one that has rooms with places to sit). |
| 3. | Take in a movie. |
| 4. | Go to the theater. |
| 5. | Visit an aquarium. |
| 6. | Volunteer together at a library or anywhere in the community. |
| 7. | Get a manicure together. |
| 8. | Visit a florist or nursery just to smell the roses. |
| 9. | Take a walk in the park. |
| 10. | Attend a lecture. |
| 11. | Visit a friend at a nursing home. |
| 12. | Go to the opera. |
| 13. | Attend religious services. |
| 14. | Walk a dog from the local humane society. |
| 15. | Visit a cemetery. |
| 16. | Go to a child's recital, even if you don't know the child all that well. |
| 17. | Browse through a flea market. |
| 18. | Go to a pet store to watch the puppies and kittens. |
| 19. | Shop at the mall (one that offers free wheelchairs). |
| 20. | Hang out at a neighborhood coffee shop where you're likely to meet up with other seniors. |
Try to take excursions during slow or off-peak hours if your loved one tends to get overwhelmed.
Many theater, opera, music, and other arts organizations have special senior discount programs. For example, the Theatre Development Fund in New York City (tdf.org) provides special offers to seniors and people with disabilities for Broadway and off-Broadway shows.
Most malls, museums, and large parks make wheelchairs available to those who need them.
A doorway must be at least thirty-two inches wide in order for a wheelchair to fit through; check before you travel or visit if you suspect there might be a problem.
Get a portable folding seat to take on outings.
Search out movie theaters with easy access. Report those that are not disability or senior friendly to the local Area Agency on Aging.
Everybody has their typical high and low periods during the day. Schedule outings for the time of day when your loved one tends to have the most energy.
| "It takes a while for Dad to get going in the morning, and he some-times gets nervous and agitated later in the day, but he's most like himself in the late morning and midday. So once a week we go out for a little shopping and a nice lunch." |
| -Doug Benard |
Seek out accommodating restaurants that offer senior discounts. If your favorite eatery doesn't offer any, ask the manager about it and let her know that perhaps she's not aware of how many seniors she'd attract if she offered the same discounts as the competition. Do this privately. Never embarrass your parent by causing a scene on his behalf.
Bring snacks on outings. One with a good mix of carbohydrates and protein will keep everyone's energy and spirits up. Some suggestions:
If your mother has a dog that she takes on walks, make sure the pet has your contact information on his tags, just to be extra safe. Attach the tags to a reflective collar and leash to make the perfect "gift set" for Fido.
Waiters and waitresses can better help your party if they know what your special needs might be. Call ahead.
| "We love taking Dad out to eat-he's a gourmet from way back and thankfully has no dietary restrictions-but it requires patience. And since I hate to embarrass him by explaining his situation out loud, I have printed up little cards that I hand to the person who seats us. It says, 'Please be patient with our party. My dad has memory problems and will need extra help with his order. Also, please remove the knife from his place setting and have his food cut up in the kitchen. We're grateful to you for your help.' This makes life easier for everyone, Dad maintains his dignity in public, and of course, we tip appropriately." |
| -Lorraine Ferber |
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. See additional information.
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