When I was born 21 years ago, I probably already had ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). While still a baby I chewed my crib, learned how to climb out of it, and discovered ways to get past the stairway safety gate.

I didn't sleep through the night until I was 6 years old, so even before I could walk I learned how to roll down the stairs to the kitchen, where I would sit on the floor eating a sand ant or two until my mother got up.

I was walking at 8 months and potty-trained at 18 months. At 3 years I was hiding from my mother, bringing her salamander tails, or scaring her. There were many fights with my parents, but especially my mom. I hated authority figures, and when I started kindergarten at 5, things got drastically worse.

"I was put in a psychiatric ward with a psychiatric doctor who actually listened to and helped me."

In school they tried to change me from a left-handed person to right-handed and just didn't understand me or know how to deal with me. I could never sit still for more than three seconds, was very curious, asked a lot of questions, observed people.

Through those years I learned how cruel life can be. I've been talked about, stabbed in the back, and lied to so much I now have trouble trusting people. I don't think anyone cared about my feelings at all until 1993, when I was put in a psychiatric ward with a psychiatric doctor who actually listened to and helped me.

Diagnosis

This doctor found out, after 12 years of my life, that I had ADHD and bipolar affective disorder. At last everyone knew that so many of my problems were beyond my control, but I hated having 12 years of my life taken from me because doctors had always said, "It's a stage," "She'll grow out of it," or "There's nothing wrong with her." I had gotten used to being different, but finally knowing what my problems were made coping easier.

Now I take Dexedrine according to my school schedule and have a Dexedrine-free weekend (I have concerns about always being on medication). I've put my parents through hell with all of this, but it's brought us closer. To help us interact without fights, I've moved into a group home temporarily, which has given me new experiences and is teaching me independence and responsibility.

And even though I'm an adult, the same doctor from my childhood still treats me because he knows me and my history. I appreciate him for what he's done for me through these eight years.

Support

I find support from my family, my therapist, at the local mental health association, and at the library. Library books have resources on ADHD, and those resources are the best place to find additional help.

"I'm glad in some respects that I have ADHD and bipolar"

A doctor's office is very useful, too, because doctors can help get a child into a learning disabilities class and can provide advice to patients or parents.

I've also discovered that the local mental health association has support groups for adults with ADHD or parents of children with ADHD, and they maintain up-to-date information. The learning disabilities counselor at my college has also helped. I've found these people are advocates for me.

Today

Being bipolar and having ADHD hasn't made my life easier, but dealing with them and accepting them has helped me achieve part of my goals.

I'm aiming to finish college within the next year and a half and then see where God leads me. My plans are to help in my church, get involved with the community, and do some volunteer work, hopefully dealing with mental health.

I'm glad in some respects that I have ADHD and bipolar. They've helped make me more determined to achieve and to prove myself, and they taught me at an early age how mean people truly can be and how they think children like me are dumb.

It hurt to be talked about behind my back and to rely on somebody only to see them walk away when trouble came. For these reasons I have a trust problem and know I always will. At least I have God in my life to help me deal with it.

Right now I'm enjoying life and being happy. ADHD is not something I think about, it's just something I have to accommodate. I know it's there and I know my limits, and as long as I stay within them, I'm fine.

Advice

It's a difficult road, dealing with ADHD, but through determination and motivation you can get through it. Once the diagnosis is made, medication makes it easier to cope.

"No mountain is unconquerable"

Don't give up on your dreams, goals, or plans because of ADHD. It may be harder and take a little more time for us to achieve something, but it's not impossible. The more you know and understand about ADHD, the easier life is.

If you're a parent of an ADHD child, don't give up trying to help your child. There are resources available to you, such as your local mental health association, the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill, and all those I mentioned above.

I have found through the years that no mountain is unconquerable. Carpe diem!

The member story above may have been edited for clarity.