My name is Lisa, and I guess I'd be considered a chronic pain patient because I suffer from severe, daily migraines. The pain level might vary, but I have pain every day. I know many neurologists don't believe in daily migraines; some call it chronic daily headaches and some call it tension headaches, but whatever they want to call it, it hurts.

Officially Diagnosed

My migraines are without an aura [neurological symptoms, like vision changes or sparkling lights, which come before the pain] and the pain is usually at both temples. My vision gets blurry as the pain increases, almost as if it hurts to focus. I get nauseous but don't throw up, though a couple times I came close!

"As if the migraines aren't enough, I've been hurt many times by the treatment of my doctors"

The range of medications I've tried is too long to list. Let's just say I've tried at least two triptans, two seizure drugs, perhaps three antidepressants, a steroid injection, a muscle relaxer, an antipsychotic injection, and many abortives such as Midrin, Esgic, Fiorinal, and Vicodin. I'm sure I've forgotten a few.

The only medications I've had success with have been narcotics. Currently I'm on OxyContin with morphine for breakthrough pain, every day. Even so, I've made many trips to the emergency room because even with these strong meds, sometimes only an injection of Demerol works.

Suffering More Than Migraines

As if the migraines aren't enough, I've been hurt many times by the treatment of my doctors, too. I've met some wonderful physicians, but unfortunately the mistreatment of a few sticks out. One doctor told me, "I never treat migraines with narcotics," while giving me an injection that didn't help at all; I left with the same pain I came in with. Another treated me to a 15-minute lecture on narcotic use, adding that if I were his patient, he wouldn't allow me to work due to the impairment of the opiates. How dare he talk about "my impairments" without any testing! What he didn't seem to understand is that I am much more impaired with a severe migraine than I would be by any drug he'd give me.

I know there are people who come to emergency rooms just for drugs though I can't imagine why. You usually have to wait hours to be seen, and then have to gamble with which kind of doctors you'll get. Unfortunately, anyone who takes pain meds, especially migraine sufferers, tends to be looked upon as an addict. I assume part of it is because we can't "prove" our pain -- HOW I WISH WE COULD.

Though I feel sorry for people with a dependency problem, it's not fair to make people with chronic pain suffer. Alcohol has ruined as many lives as drugs and yet it's still over the counter. To be honest, I'm tired of suffering because of people who abuse drugs. Sometimes all it takes is an injection to break the pain cycle for a little while, and denying someone that relief is inhumane. I'm sorry, I'd rather a few fakers accidentally receive drugs than for yet another pain patient to go untreated.

"It can take a long time to get migraines under control. But if at first you don't succeed, try, try again"

Please understand, I'm not "down" on all doctors. I've met some wonderful ones along the way and even had a few ER doctors call me at home the next day to see how I'm feeling. I also have a great neurologist (who is frustrated by my lack of response to his efforts), and a terrific pain doctor.

Message Board Support

So though some doctors don't understand, my neurologist and pain doctor do. Along with their support, I find a lot of help from talking with people on the Internet. I post on the message boards of a neurological site and on a chronic pain site board. Even a spouse can't give the tremendous support you find on these boards, among people who've been where you are. I've gotten so much information and help. For example, if I'm about to have a new procedure or try a new medication, I post questions and get answers -- from a patient's viewpoint.

Counter-pointing this support is the lack of it from my family. I'm afraid they don't understand my pain or why I take the drugs I do. I'm almost 34 and yet my mother still hands me articles on drug addiction, which is very hurtful. My family has no clue how bad or how often I hurt, partly because I do my best to put on a good face.

I guess I'm going to have to sit my mom down and try to explain. I'm close to her and I'm sick of us fighting over this. What they don't know is I think without the opiates I'd be in bed crying all the time. I'm actually a strong person, I think, because even before I got the stronger medication I have now, I continued to work. But I had no life afterwards. I made it to work, came home, and crawled in bed. Even my neurologist seems to think getting into the opiates is "giving up," but I've tried one or more drugs in each category commonly used to treat headaches and they didn't help enough.

If at First You Don't Succeed ...

As you see, it can take a long time to get migraines under control. But if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. There are so many medications available, and many times it's a combination that works.

If you suffer from migraines, keep searching until you find a good doctor. If your migraines are frequent and resistant to treatment, see a neurologist who specializes in headaches. Even if you have to follow HMO guidelines and wait a month to switch between doctors, keep switching until you find a compassionate, knowledgeable physician. There are very good doctors out there, but you might run into some jerks, so be an informed patient. There's a lot of information on the Internet -- use it.

"A good pain management doctor or clinic keeps all options open"

And keep track of the medications you've tried, the dosages, and results. This is especially useful for me if I go to the ER as I've tried so many meds. Also, keep a headache diary (you can find one online or just use a notebook) and track your pain levels and what medications you took each day and their results. This is especially useful when changing medications. You might think a medication's not helping, but then look back and compare months and see that you had two fewer ER trips, and five more days where pain was under a six, for example.

Changes, Advice, Conclusions

Life has changed, of course. I now curtail or eliminate activities I formerly enjoyed. I don't go to concerts because I'm afraid of the noise. I cringe when someone has a high-pitched voice and uses it loudly. Even when I go to movies, I pay for it later. I never thought a "headache" would change my life this way. I always thought headaches were excuses.

My inspiration is other people going through the pain, too, who help others the best they can and still remain pleasant people. I know there are many far worse off than I. When I hear their stories, it humbles me to realize that, in comparison, I don't have it so bad.

I use opiates so that I can live my life. I wish everyone -- family, doctors, nurses -- would understand. I'm not saying opiates are for everyone. But in my opinion a good pain management doctor or clinic keeps all options open, whether those options are narcotics, nonnarcotics, natural remedies, physical therapy, biofeedback, etc. I think most success comes with a combination of treatments. We should not have to live in pain because a doctor thinks all painkillers are bad.

In conclusion, I wish doctors would become more educated about pain and the use of opiates where appropriate. There are many studies showing that a very low percentage of patients get addicted to pain meds. Their body might become dependant and they might sometimes appear to be drug seekers, but that's often because they're in so much pain and that pain is undertreated.

It doesn't have to be that way.

The member story above may have been edited for clarity.