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| Body Transformed 
If I cry any more today, I think my eyes may just run right out of my head. It was one thing to update my will, yet another to complete an advance directive form to assign my husband to the task of making medical decisions on my behalf if I am unable to do so myself. But sitting at the keyboard to write letters for my family to read in case I don't survive surgery has been the toughest thing I've ever had to do. How do you say goodbye to children who will not understand that their mother isn't coming back again? There are simply no words to say that will convey to them the depth of my love and commitment to their lives. My little ones (and even the big one) need me. They're not "finished yet." I still have so much to teach them about being good people. There are lessons of compassion to share, examples of empathy that they need. How can I leave such important work undone? Plain and simple, I can't. I fully intend to survive this surgery. I have a huge life left to live. I'm going to cry at graduations, dance at weddings, and marvel over grandchildren yet to be born. But I wrote the letters anyway. I don't plan to ever need them.
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Saying Goodbye