Body Transformed
A Journey of Surgical Weight Loss

Gaining as I Lose
December 15, 2004

Weight: 187 pounds
Loss: 90 pounds

I can't believe that I only have 10 more pounds to lose to hit the magical 100 pound mark! There's just something remarkable about losing that much weight. I haven't been this light since 1984. That was 20 years ago.

Living a lifetime of adult obesity really colors the way a person sees the world. I didn't realize this before I lost weight, but I've been looking at almost everything from the standpoint of "is this something I can do?" Limitations created by my size have held me back in ways that I wasn't even aware of.

Most people are afraid of rejection. Let's face it, rejection hurts. As an obese woman, I've gone out of my way to avoid situations that might possibly put me in a position of being turned away. I've stayed in jobs that were not fulfilling, stuck with relationships that were unhealthy and turned away from potentially exciting opportunities because I was just plain scared.

I can feel myself getting stronger with every pound that melts away. I'm changing in good ways. People say that when someone loses a large amount of weight that they change. I agree 100%. How can we not change inside when everything about us is changing?

I find that I'm more willing to speak up these days, less willing to take it on the chin for someone else. I'm proactive rather than reactive. And I'm liking the way this feels. A friend called me the other day and told me that she's going skiing over the Christmas holiday. That got me thinking that maybe next year I'll plan a ski trip for December, too. You might be thinking, "What's so great about that?" Fact is, I've never been on a pair of skis in my life and wouldn't have even considered such a thing before I had surgery.

I feel like all kinds of doors are now appearing before me. They may have been there before, but coming from the perspective of a 277 pound woman, I couldn't even see those doors, much less consider walking through them. I'm gaining a lot as I lose.

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Making the Decision

07/14/01: Making the Decision

08/23/01: Leaving Bill

09/18/01: No Job

09/20/01: Just That Quick

The Family and Friends Plan

09/19/02: Why Not Me?

12/26/02: Comparisons

03/22/03: Jumping on the Bandwagon

05/20/03: How I Met Ed

08/18/03: The Big Squeeze

11/06/03: New Body, New Husband

Seeking Approval

02/04/04: Time to Get Approved

03/12/04: Journey Begins

04/26/04: I'm Approved

06/13/04: Pre-Op Testing

06/20/04: In the Waiting Line

Making the Cut

07/10/04: Saying Goodbye

07/11/04: Sleepless Night

07/15/04: The Surgery

Strange Changes

07/22/04: Yummy Water

07/30/04: Smaller Tummy

08/16/04: 37 Pounds Down

09/07/04: My First 50 Pounds

10/31/04: Different Food, Same Love

New Body Countdown

11/07/04: 67 Down and Counting

11/12/04: Melting Away - 73 down

11/20/04: Breaking 200

11/26/04: Giving Thanks - 83 pounds

Holiday Madness

12/08/04: Slowing Down

12/15/04: Fortune 100, and Counting

12/27/04: Weight GAIN?

Quiet Rewards

01/06/05: Jeans Older Than My Kids

01/19/05: No Lap, But I'll Take the Luxury

01/28/05: A Most Unusual Revelation

02/07/05: Body and Sole

02/14/05: Flowers in the Mirror

Ready for Summer

03/31/05: Batwings and Tummy-Tucks

A New Life

12/15/05: Finally