Lorraine Bracco, as psychiatrist Jennifer Melfi on The Sopranos, HBO's smash hit, is cool and calm talking with Tony Soprano about the mobster's depression. But when she remembers the start of her own real-life battle with depression, her voice rises with passion.
"It hit me that it had been months since I felt anything. That I was just joyless," Bracco tells WebMD. "Finally I said, this is just not right. There is something really wrong here. A whole year of my life was lost. Too long! Too long to not live! "
Five years ago, after ending a long-term relationship, Anita became seriously depressed. It benched the once-physically active writer, who asked that her last name be withheld to protect her privacy.
She stopped running and began gaining weight and falling out of shape. It was not the first time she had been depressed, and traditional therapy had not helped her as much as she had hoped. This time, she sought out someone different. She found Jane Baxter, PhD, a therapist who was able to get her moving...
She feels alive now. And she feels angry. Angry with herself about losing a year before she sought treatment. "It makes me laugh: I had this for a whole year, and the doctor was just two miles down the road," she says, not laughing.
Now Bracco is speaking out about her successful treatment. In 2005, she agreed to serve as a depression spokeswoman for the drug company Pfizer. And last summer, the TV psychiatrist gave a speech to an auditorium full of real psychiatrists at the annual meeting of the American Psychiatric Association. She urges others to recognize their depression -- and get help before they, too, waste part of their lives.
Bracco had all kinds of reasons to feel down. In the '90s-which she calls "a really lousy decade" she went through a very public divorce with actor Harvey Keitel. Eventually she was awarded sole custody of their daughter, Stella.
Based on unsubstantiated charges that Bracco's new husband, actor Edward James Olmos, had once fondled a teenage girl, Keitel later initiated a protracted custody battle. Bracco won -- but it left her bankrupt. Her relationship with Olmos ended. And she learned that Stella has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis, a serious illness. On top of it all, good acting roles became scarce.
Clinical depression isn't necessarily brought on by stress or sadness. Bracco's rough 10 years took a toll, of course, but didn't directly cause her depression. That came after Stella got better and after the role of Dr. Melfi in The Sopranos rejuvenated Bracco's career.