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Diabetes Health Center

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6 Ways to Support a Spouse With Diabetes

Experts and people who've been there offer tips on how to support a partner with diabetes -- without nagging.
By
WebMD Feature
Reviewed by John A. Seibel, MD

When Gerri Weiss's husband, Michael, learned 22 years ago that he had type 1 diabetes, she faced what she calls one of the toughest challenge of her life: how to support her husband through a disease that often overwhelmed both of them.

With 21 million Americans now diagnosed with diabetes, Weiss has hardly been alone in her struggle. What are the best ways to support a spouse with diabetes?

Recommended Related to Diabetes

How to Manage Your Kid's Type 1 Diabetes

If your child has recently been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, your family will have a learning curve as you get the hang of proper care and a new routine. Your lives will change, but in time you'll get more comfortable with this "new normal." As you make adjustments, you can take comfort in knowing this autoimmune disease doesn’t have to limit your child. "Kids with diabetes can do everything other kids can do," says Andrea Petersen Hulke of the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.

Read the How to Manage Your Kid's Type 1 Diabetes article > >

First, recognize that diabetes permeates daily life.

''When Mike was diagnosed, he kept thinking this disease had just happened to him, when, in fact, it had happened to our whole family,'' Weiss says.

The couple had two young children. ''All of a sudden, we had to eat meals at a certain time, and we had a busy life," Weiss says. "And we had to be aware that Daddy had mood swings sometimes.''

It's also frightening to think of a loved one developing diabetes-related complications from poorly controlled blood sugar, such as blindness, amputation, and kidney failure. When a partner with diabetes doesn't seem serious about managing the disease, a spouse may feel frustrated, even panicked.

But browbeating or criticizing usually backfires, says Weiss, who is director of organizational affairs at the University of Pittsburgh Diabetes Institute. Her husband, Michael Weiss, chairs the American Diabetes Association's national board of directors.

Instead, as Weiss learned, there are better ways to create a healthy partnership. She and other experts offered these pointers for those trying to support a spouse with diabetes.

Diabetes Support Tip No. 1: Offer Help, but Don't Be the Diabetes Police

At first, when Weiss caught her husband sneaking junk food, she reminded him that it was off-limits. She asked him constantly about his blood sugar levels. ''It took some time before I realized that diabetes had not just changed our lifestyle, it had changed me,'' Weiss says. ''I became a nagging spouse.''

While it's tempting to hover, let your spouse decide what kind of help is welcome, Weiss says. Some people with diabetes will allow spouses ''nagging rights.'' Others won't.

It's also unrealistic to expect a spouse with diabetes to stay on top of the disease at all times. Says Weiss: ''For Mike, it's 24-7. He can't take a break from this disease -- ever. And I can.''

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