How to Deal With Diet Saboteurs
When you're trying to lose weight, often your friends and loved ones become the greatest obstacle. Learn how to turn these diet saboteurs into diet supporters.
Why People Sabotage continued...
"He wants the old me back," she told Spangle. She saw it as a control issue and eventually divorced the man for trying to control her so destructively.
"In some instances," Spangle says, "a spouse may have the need to control. A man may think if his wife stays fat she won't be flirting or attracting notice. Sometimes, this spouse will compliment the heavy person. No one else does, so this is a way of keeping control."
Katz says people who are themselves overweight (two-thirds of Americans) feel threatened. "Most people struggle with weight issues," Katz says. "If I am fat and you go on a diet, you put me in the uncomfortable position of feeling bad about my own weight; deciding to do something about it, which I may not be ready to do; or trying to talk you out of what you are doing.
"People who are threatened," Katz sums up, "fight back."
Sexual anxiety is also a part of it, he agrees. "If the person gets thin, they may find someone else. That is a factor. 'My wife is getting so sexy, she may dump me.'"
And, Katz says, being reassuring to the dieter may be a higher form of love. "A mother may think it's her job to make the child feel better about themselves. They may be on a mission to get a daughter to accept her size."
Co-workers, he says, tend to be competitive. If you are succeeding at something, even losing weight, it makes them look less successful. Plus, you might attract notice for a promotion.