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This article is from the WebMD Feature Archive
Women & Impotence: A Woman's Point of View About Male Impotence
The TV commercials make it all seem so simple: He can't get an erection so he pops a pill. The next thing you know, his partner is cooing about how her guy is back to his old wild and romantic self.
What the commercials don't show you: The painful distress a woman can experience when her man suffers with erectile dysfunction (ED).
"Women internalize things -- they tend to blame themselves first, thinking it's because they have done something wrong, or that they are no longer attractive to their partner. In fact, the first thing a woman thinks when a man can't get an erection is that it's her fault, and nothing could be further from the truth," says Andrew McCullough, MD, director of sexual health and male infertility at NYU Medical Center in New York City.
ED, or erectile dysfunction, is medically defined as the inability to achieve or sustain an erection long enough for sexual intercourse. Virtually all men experience some erection failures at certain points in their lives. It can be the result of stress, depression, or sometimes even for no reason at all. For some, the problem becomes chronic. When it does, a diagnosis of ED is made. According to the American Foundation for Urologic Disease, it's a problem that affects about 18 million men in the U.S. alone.
Although many women -- and men as well -- continue to view ED as a sexual issue, in truth, the most common causes are undiagnosed physical conditions such as diabetes, high cholesterol, or even the earliest stages of heart disease. Even more often, it can be the result of certain medications used to treat these conditions, particularly some high blood pressure drugs.
Unfortunately, experts say a lack of education about the causes of ED are frequently behind a woman's self-blame, as well as her increasing anxiety, and sometimes, even feelings of hurt and anger when the problem occurs.
"Most women usually start with a line of questioning that often has some anxiety or hurt to it. She may suspect her partner is having an affair, or that he just doesn't find her desirable anymore, so she begins to hint around at these possibilities," says Sallie Foley, MSW, a professor at the graduate school of social work at the University of Michigan and co-author of Sex Matters For Women.
Often, says Foley, a man suffering with ED will interpret her questions -- and her hurtful attitude -- as an attack on him, so he pulls back.
"She then experiences this pulling back as a confirmation that she has done something wrong, and so she retreats even further," says Foley. As she does, increasing levels of anxiety or depression can set in, along with suspicions about what's going on with him, as well as a continued belief that there is something wrong with her.
The end result: The couple can stop communicating altogether -- not only in the bedroom, but in all aspects of their relationship. And that, say experts, can only make problems worse for both partners.
"The one thing a woman should never do is withdraw because that is a formula for relationship disaster," says McCullough. When one partner pulls away, he says, the other withdraws as well, and "this kind of dance goes on where you stop touching each other, then you stop talking, and before you know it you are not communicating at all."
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Erectile Dysfunction Guide
Indication
Uroxatral® (alfuzosin HCl 10 mg extended-release tablets) is an alpha1-blocker for the treatment of the signs and symptoms of BPH.
Important Safety Information
Do not take UROXATRAL if you have liver problems or if you are taking antifungal drugs like ketoconazole or itraconazole, or HIV drugs like ritonavir.
UROXATRAL can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure, especially when starting treatment. This may lead to fainting, dizziness, and lightheadedness. Do not drive, operate machinery, or do any dangerous activity until you know how UROXATRAL will affect you. This is especially important if you already have a problem with low blood pressure or take medicines to treat high blood pressure. There may be an increased risk of low blood pressure and fainting when taking UROXATRAL in combination with blood pressure medication or nitrates, or erectile dysfunction medication.
If considering cataract surgery (clouding of the eyes), tell your eye surgeon that you are currently taking UROXATRAL or have previously been treated with an alpha-blocker.
Before taking UROXATRAL, tell your doctor if you have kidney problems.
Also, tell your doctor if you or any family member(s) have or take medications for a rare heart condition known as congenital prolongation of the QT interval.
BPH and prostate cancer can cause the same symptoms. However, UROXATRAL is not a treatment for prostate cancer.
The most common side effects with UROXATRAL are dizziness, upper respiratory tract infection, headache, and tiredness.
Please see UROXATRAL full prescribing information.
