Stop your thoughts
The first step is to stop your negative thoughts or "self-talk." Self-talk is what you think and believe about
yourself and your experiences. It's like a running commentary in your head.
Your self-talk may be positive and helpful. Or it may be negative and not
helpful.
Ask about your thoughts
The next step is to ask yourself whether your thoughts are helpful or unhelpful. Look at what you're saying to yourself. Does
the evidence support your negative thought? Some of your self-talk may be true.
Or it may be partly true but exaggerated. There are several kinds of irrational
thoughts. Here are a few types:
-
Focusing on the negative: This is sometimes called filtering. You filter out the good
and focus only on the bad. You don't give yourself credit for the positive
things you do. Example: "I ruined my eating plan this week by having so much
pizza tonight." Reality: Did you stick to your eating plan most of the week? If
you did, then you're not giving yourself credit for all the positive things you
did that week.
-
Should: People sometimes have
set ideas about how they "should" act. If you hear yourself saying that you or
other people "should," "ought to," or "have to" do something, then you might be
setting yourself up to feel bad. Example: "I should never have pizza or
dessert." Reality: If you really don't ever want to have pizza or dessert
again, that's fine. But many people find a way to work those foods into their
eating plan and stay at a healthy weight. They try to have a flexible eating
plan.
-
Overgeneralizing: This is taking one
example and saying it's true for everything. Look for words such as "never" and
"always." Example: "I can never stick with an exercise plan." Reality: Have you
ever made a vow to exercise and stuck to it? If you did it before, you can do
it again. And even if you weren't able to do it in the past that doesn't mean
you can't stick to a plan in the future.
-
All-or-nothing thinking: This is also called black-or-white
thinking. Example: "If I can't stay on my eating plan all the time, I'll just
give up." Reality: Everyone makes mistakes sometimes. One slip-up doesn't mean
you can't get back to your plan the next day.
Choose your thoughts
The next step is to choose a positive, helpful thought to replace the unhelpful one.
Keeping a journal of your thoughts
is one of the best ways to practice stopping, asking, and choosing your thoughts. It makes you aware of your self-talk. Write down any negative or
unhelpful thoughts you had during the day. If you think you might not remember
them at the end of your day, keep a notepad with you so that you can write down
thoughts as they occur. Then write down helpful messages to correct the
negative thoughts.
If you do this every day, helpful thoughts will
soon come naturally.
But there may be some truth in some of your
negative thoughts. You may have some things you want to work on. If you didn't
perform as well as you would like on something, write that down. You can work
on a plan to correct or improve that area.
If you want, you also
can write down what kind of irrational thought you had. Your journal entries
might look something like this:
Thought diary
|
Stop your negative thought
|
Ask what type of negative thought you had
|
Choose a positive, helpful thought
|
|
"I ruined my eating plan by
having so much pizza tonight."
|
Focusing on
the negative
|
"I wish I didn't eat so much pizza. But
it's only one meal. I stuck to my eating plan really well the rest of the
week."
|
| "I should never have pizza or
dessert." |
Should |
"Having dessert or pizza now and then is
okay if it's part of my eating plan." |
|
"I can never stick with an
exercise plan."
|
Overgeneralizing
|
"I've had some problems sticking with an
exercise plan in the past. But that doesn't mean I can't do it in the future.
I've made other changes in my life."
|
|
"If I can't lose 10 pounds this
month, then I'm going to give up this eating plan."
|
All or nothing
|
"I'm going to try to set a realistic goal.
It may be a smaller goal than before, but I'm still working toward a healthy
weight."
|
Which of these thoughts is an example of positive
thinking?
This answer is
incorrect.
This is an example of a negative or irrational
thought. By saying "never," you're overgeneralizing because of one slip-up.
You're also ignoring all your successes.
This answer is
correct.
This is a positive thought. It corrects a
negative thought. You're admitting that you got off track. But you're also
putting it in perspective. It's only one day, and you can start over
tomorrow.
How can a daily journal help you have more positive
thoughts?
This answer is
incorrect.
Both answers are correct. A daily journal can
make you aware of your self-talk. It also helps you think of positive thoughts.
As soon as you write down an unhelpful thought, you can write a positive
thought to correct it.
This answer is
incorrect.
Both answers are correct. Writing in the
journal every day will help positive thinking come naturally to you. It takes
some practice. It took a long time for negative thinking to become automatic.
So it may take some time to get used to having positive thoughts.