A New Way to Look at Death

It's going to happen to all of us…so why is it so hard to talk about death? Find out how to keep memories alive and stay true to the spirit of your loved ones.

Leave a Legacy
Author Jill Brooke says that "We'd be less scared of dying if we weren't so scared of being forgotten." Keep your legacy alive by sharing letters, a scrapbook or a video about the life you've lived. And live every day to its fullest! Share experiences that others will remember you by.

Here are some ways to keep your legacy alive:

• Write letters or make videos for loved ones about yourself and the life you've led. Consider making a family keepsake box.
• Live every day to its fullest, knowing that you are sharing experiences that others will remember you by.

Keep Memories of the Deceased Alive
Death doesn't have to be gloomy. Consider looking at it not as an end, but as a new relationship. Oprah believes that when somebody dies, "you've just gained an angel."

• Talk about the deceased without being overly serious. Remember how your loved one was in life. Share your happy memories with others.
• Talk openly and honestly about illness and death. If you have children, help them understand death with truthfulness and love.
• Create a place where you keep things that remind you of the person who has passed to keep their legacy alive.

Understand the Needs of the Dying
If someone in your life is terminally ill, Dr. David Kuhl, author of What Dying People Want, suggests you keep these ideas in mind:

• All dying people have something to say. They have a "truth" to speak from their heart.
• People that are dying are still living. Treat them as such.
• The dying often want to tell you stories about their lives. Listen.
• They want a sense of connection to their sense of self, to their intimate relationships and also to something bigger than themselves (God, a higher being or a higher power). As their physical body gets weaker, the spiritual part grows stronger.

Ironically, this can be an optimal time of growth in their life. Dying people may want to be around family, even if the family didn't always get along. Use this time to create a forum, to not necessarily reconcile differences, but to understand one another.

Related content on oprah.com

• How to heal your grief and find a renewed sense of strength
• Life-saving lessons from families like yours
• Coping with the death of a spouse

From The Oprah Winfrey Show "Why Death Is Worth Talking About", © 2007 Harpo Production, Inc. All Rights Reserved.