Healthy Aging Health Center
This article is from the WebMD Feature Archive
When Your Parent Depends on You
When David Ruttan's father died, his 78-year-old mother's plight worried him. "She was very isolated. They had very few friends," said Ruttan, a California resident. "We were concerned about her driving abilities, and you could tell that she wasn't quite mentally there. She was becoming repetitive. We weren't sure if it was part of the grieving process or something else."
Eventually, Lois Ruttan was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease, and her son had to face the truth: the mother who once cared for him was no longer able to live on her own.
It's often painful for adult children to talk to an aging parent about loss of capabilities, even when the signs are everywhere: stove burners left on, medication doses missed, wandering, getting lost, being unable to reach the toilet in time.
"They don't want to see the change in their parent. They don't want to make their parent angry. They don't want to offend their parent's dignity," says Suzannah Chandler, LMSW, executive director of Search and Care, a New York nonprofit organization that helps the elderly live at home.
But Chandler says it's important for both parties -- parents and children -- to plan for the day when parents are no longer able to live independently.
In Ruttan's case, discussions about his mom's future went smoothly -- almost. "There was only one bump in the road. She became ballistic when I took away her car," he says. "It was really heart-wrenching."
When he and his mother decided on an assisted-living facility, he fretted. "When I first walked into the place, I was so scared. Is this the right place for my mother? Am I incarcerating her? All these questions were flying through my mind."
Fortunately for Ruttan, assisted living proved to be just what his mother needed. As her Alzheimer's progressed, staff members were there to supervise her and lend a hand with daily tasks.
While home-care aides can come into an older person's home to assist with housekeeping, shopping, cooking, and other tasks, it's not always enough. Sometimes, aging parents need a new living arrangement with more care and companionship. Nursing homes, with their round-the-clock, comprehensive care, are hardly the only option.
In between, you and your parent have many choices to investigate, from temporary housing set up on your property to continuing care communities that will house your parent through all stages of old age.
Your home or somewhere else?
Some people consider moving an older parent into their own home. Is this right for you?
Quiz your parent about needs and preferences. If your parent welcomes the idea of moving into your home -- and not all do -- think hard about how the new proximity could affect relationships: Will it destroy a good bond, help a distant one, or be a neutral factor?
Indication
Uroxatral® (alfuzosin HCl 10 mg extended-release tablets) is an alpha1-blocker for the treatment of the signs and symptoms of BPH.
Important Safety Information
Do not take UROXATRAL if you have liver problems or if you are taking antifungal drugs like ketoconazole or itraconazole, or HIV drugs like ritonavir.
UROXATRAL can cause a sudden drop in blood pressure, especially when starting treatment. This may lead to fainting, dizziness, and lightheadedness. Do not drive, operate machinery, or do any dangerous activity until you know how UROXATRAL will affect you. This is especially important if you already have a problem with low blood pressure or take medicines to treat high blood pressure. There may be an increased risk of low blood pressure and fainting when taking UROXATRAL in combination with blood pressure medication or nitrates, or erectile dysfunction medication.
If considering cataract surgery (clouding of the eyes), tell your eye surgeon that you are currently taking UROXATRAL or have previously been treated with an alpha-blocker.
Before taking UROXATRAL, tell your doctor if you have kidney problems.
Also, tell your doctor if you or any family member(s) have or take medications for a rare heart condition known as congenital prolongation of the QT interval.
BPH and prostate cancer can cause the same symptoms. However, UROXATRAL is not a treatment for prostate cancer.
The most common side effects with UROXATRAL are dizziness, upper respiratory tract infection, headache, and tiredness.
Please see UROXATRAL full prescribing information.
VIVELLE-DOT (estradiol transdermal system) IS AVAILABLE BY PRESCRPTION ONLY.
INDICATION
Vivelle-Dot is used after menopause to: reduce moderate to severe hot flashes; treat moderate to severe dryness, itching and burning in or around the vagina; help reduce your chances of getting osteoporosis (thin weak bones); and treat certain conditions in which a young woman's ovaries do not produce enough estrogens naturally. Vivelle-Dot 0.025 mg/day is only used to prevent osteoporosis from menopause. If you use Vivelle-Dot only to treat your dryness, itching, and burning in and around your vagina or if you use Vivelle-Dot only to prevent osteoporosis from menopause, talk with your healthcare professional about whether a different treatment or medicine without estrogens might be better for you.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION
Estrogens increase the chances of getting cancer of the uterus (womb). Report any unusual vaginal bleeding right away while you are taking estrogens. Vaginal bleeding after menopause may be a warning sign of cancer of the uterus (womb).
Do not use estrogens with or without progestins to prevent heart disease, heart attacks, or strokes. Using estrogens with or without progestins may increase your chances of getting heart attacks, strokes, breast cancer, and blood clots. Using estrogens with progestins may increase your risk of dementia (decline in memory and thinking skills).
Vivelle-Dot should not be used if you have unusual vaginal bleeding; currently have or have had certain cancers, including cancer of the breast or uterus; had a stroke or heart attack in the recent past (for example, in the past year); currently have or have had blood clots; currently have or have had liver problems; or think you may be, or know that you are, pregnant.
The most common side effects that may occur with Vivelle-Dot are headache, breast tenderness, and back pain.
You and your healthcare professional should talk regularly about whether you still need treatment with Vivelle-Dot.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit www.fda.gov/medwatch or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
Please see Full Prescribing Information for Vivelle-Dot.


