Anger or hostility that causes problems with others

Anger is a normal reaction that helps us cope with feeling threatened. The open expression of anger is a learned behavior that helps us gain power.

People tend to avoid a person who angers easily, so this person often gets to have his or her way. At the same time, if people avoid you because of your quick temper, it is difficult to form supportive, healthy relationships. This leads to isolation and feelings of low self-esteem.

If you find that you anger easily or feel angry all of the time, try the following:

• Think before you act. Take time to stop and cool down when you feel yourself becoming angry. Count to 10 or practice some other form of mental relaxation. When you have calmed down, you will be better able to deal with your conflict rationally.
• Avoid situations and people that make you feel angry.
• Recognize feelings that often lead to angry outbursts. Do you have trouble dealing with feelings of sadness, confusion, or helplessness? Identify these feelings and develop positive ways to express them.
• Focus on the things in your life that make you happy.
• Learn to express your feelings in an appropriate manner.
  • Develop assertiveness skills to replace your aggressive behavior.
  • Use "I" statements when talking about your feelings.
• Take care of yourself.
  • Exercise regularly.
  • Eat a balanced diet. Do not skip meals.
  • Try to get 8 hours of sleep each night.
  • Limit your use of alcohol and do not use illegal drugs.
• Join a support group. Check with your employee assistance program or your local health department to find out what services are available in your area.

If you are angry, hostile, or have violent behavior, it is important to find help. You can learn ways to control your feelings and actions. Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline toll-free at 1-800-799-7233 or the National Department on Mental Health at 1-888-793-4357. These agencies can help you find the help you need.