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The Fertility Diaries: When a Friend Is Pregnant — and You're Not


In January 2006, she began fertility testing with her ob/gyn. The doctor performed a sperm analysis on Scott and did an HSG test (a hysterosalpingogram, which examines the inside of the fallopian tubes and the uterus) on Jody. And he prescribed Clomid "to help make more targets."

Things looked pretty good, the doctor told her. "He said that there were a few minor abnormalities in my husband's sperm, and that I might have a blocked right tube, but that we had nothing to worry about," Jody recalls. On her third month of taking Clomid -- June 2006 -- Jody found out she was pregnant.

By now, Carrie had become very close to Jenny and Jody. "I interacted with them like I do with my sisters," Carrie says. So it seemed like a wonderful twist of fate when Carrie became pregnant at nearly the same time as Jody -- without even really trying.

Carrie: "After taking about three years to decide if we wanted kids, we started 'not avoiding' in late April. We weren't prepared for it to happen the first month! Around the beginning of June, even though my period wasn't technically late, I took a pregnancy test. The first one was a BFN -- that's a 'big fat negative' in pregnancy-speak -- but the second one, a week later, was positive."

Everything was coming together perfectly. Jenny's pregnancy, after some heart-stopping early spotting, was going well, and she was due in August. Carrie and Jody would both welcome their babies in February 2007, just six months later.

But Jody's happiness was short-lived. Within days of Carrie's happy announcement, Jody started to bleed. She was just six weeks pregnant.

Jody: "I was teaching my second-grade class, and the bleeding got worse. I knew I was having a miscarriage. But it was the last day of the school year, so I couldn't go home. I cried all day; the kids kept asking what was wrong. I bled so much that a pad wouldn't last me more than a half hour, so I kept running to the bathroom while a colleague -- a close friend -- watched my class.

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