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The Fertility Diaries: When a Friend Is Pregnant — and You're Not


"I was devastated. Talking to Scott helped to ground me. He said that if something was going to go wrong, it was better that it happened when it did, instead of after eight months of pregnancy. I realized he was right. But it took us a long time to get pregnant, and I do get sad sometimes when I see people who are due at the same time I would have been -- even Carrie."

No one could have been more heartbroken for Jody than Jenny and Carrie -- especially Carrie, who had hoped to go through all the milestones of pregnancy together with her dear friend.

Carrie: "As the one who hasn't struggled with fertility, I do often feel guilty. I certainly don't deserve to be pregnant any more than Jody. And why does Jenny have to go through this twice to get a healthy newborn she can hold in her arms longer than three days? But I've learned so much about both of them and what they go through. They have my utmost respect. And they don't feel sorry for themselves at all."

Jody and her husband knew they'd need help to try again. Thanks to a fateful misdialed phone number, they got that help faster than they expected.

Jody: "Back when we first went on the Clomid, we'd made an appointment to see the reproductive endocrinologist in June, because I knew it would be hard to get in. When I got pregnant, I called him to cancel but couldn't get through...I'd dialed the wrong area code. It's like fate made sure that appointment didn't get canceled.

"We couldn't believe what this doctor told us. Instead of the minor sperm abnormality our first doctor described, we found out that 98 percent of them were abnormal. And they told me that I have Factor V Leiden, a blood-clotting disorder. It's a big risk for complications in pregnancy and was probably the reason I'd miscarried, the endocrinologist said. Once I did get pregnant, I'd have to give myself shots twice a day to help prevent another miscarriage. Clearly, there was a lot more wrong with us, and Clomid was not the answer. So we decided to try intrauterine insemination. I'll take medication to stimulate my egg production, and then they use a catheter to insert my husband's sperm right when I'm ovulating.

"Everything we'd gone through was devastating, but at least we finally had a plan of action, and I felt so confident with our new doctor that I was able to find some peace with all our issues."

As the summer of 2006 stretched on, all that Jody, Carrie, and Jenny could do was simply wait and wonder. Would Jody's fertility treatments work this time? Would Carrie's pregnancy continue to progress smoothly? Would Jenny's second child be born healthy and thriving -- and come home with her safely? These unanswered questions left three good friends struggling with a mixture of anxiety and excitement. But they knew one thing for sure: Whatever happened, they'd get through it together.

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