Skip to content
My WebMD Sign In, Sign Up

Tips and resources for managing lupus, fatigue, and memory problems.

 
Guest Expert Photo

WebMD Expert Discussion: To Tell or Not to Tell: Dating With Lupus

Uh-oh. Your new date just got a whiff of eucalyptus on your skin. Should you tell him it's from the cream you rubbed on your muscles after your triathlon training? Or should you blurt out that lupus makes your muscles sore?

In the WebMD Lupus Community, lupus activist and patient Christine Miserandino tackles the issue of talking about lupus when you're dating. Instead of thinking about what to wear on a first date, she recalls being consumed by issues like how to hide her medicine, or how she would explain a last-minute cancellation.

It wasn't that she didn't want to be honest, Miserandino says. It was just that she didn't want her illness to define who she was to someone she just met. For her, the best solution was to hold off talking about her lupus until after the first few dates. Then, if the relationship didn't develop, she had not shared personal health information with someone who would not be part of her life.  

One member of the community says she found that the opposite solution worked best for her. She always told men on the first date that she had lupus. That way, if a guy couldn't deal with it, she had not wasted her time on him. In her experience, she says, no man ever lost interest in dating her after he knew she had lupus.

How has lupus affected your dating life? What dating tips do you have to share for someone who has lupus?

Discussion led by Christine Miserandino Guest Expert
Next Article:

Guest Expert What is a guest expert?

Christine Miserandino is a lupus advocate who writes, blogs, and speaks about living with lupus.

Read Profile

A Body Divided:

Speaking of Lupus

Christine Miserandino Lupus advocate Christine Miserandino offers tips, advice, and coping strategies for living with lupus.
Watch Video

Coping
With Lupus

WebMD's Day2Night will help you develop personal coping strategies for living with lupus – at home,
at work, or with family
and friends.
Visit Lupus Day2Night