Secrets to a Happy Marriage
Not your parents’ relationship: The keys to a good marriage are different now
Marriage and tradition ― They belong together continued...
"After a divorce, lots of couples and kids complain about the loss of
traditions," says Nock. "What are we supposed to do on Easter or
Passover?" The fact is, we need traditions ― starting with marriage
"People don't think it matters when you stand up and make these public
vows," says Nock. "My students don't get it. It may seem like flimsy
glue, but it's better than never making those statements ― those pledges of
fidelity, of help, and support."
Scenes from a happy marriage: Dating
There are plenty of reasons why you should stay married. You will live
longer, earn more, and be a more social and altruistic member of society than
your single counterpart. The question remains, in the hassle-free no-fault
divorce world, how do you stay married ― happily, that is? Terry Real, a
Boston-based marriage and family therapist and author of The New Rules of
Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work, suggests you try dating
"It's good for your children to see you go off for the weekend and leave
them at home," says Real. "It's good for them to see you going off on
Friday night because it's date night, even if it's just jeans and a pizza and a
movie. It's a tremendous inoculation against marriage failure down the pike to
put a little time and energy into marriage all the way through."
A happy marriage requires more maintenance than your car
Many men, Real tells WebMD, try to fix their marriage after it is broken,
after their wives have turned off or they've lost the incentive. "What I
tell guys is, 'If you don't put oil in your engine, it freezes.' Guys will put
more energy into maintaining their car than they will into maintaining their
marriage, and if you don't maintain something, it breaks."
Among his tips for a happy marriage is to let your wife kvetch. "A lot
of guys don't want to go out alone with their wives because they know when the
wives are alone with them, they're going to complain." Don't fight that, he
says. "Take your woman out and cut her some slack. Don't insist that
everything go your way." Listen, nod, agree now and then ― but within