Sex: Fact and Fiction
What’s the average penis size? How fast is premature ejaculation? Exactly where is the G-spot? Grab a ruler and a stopwatch as the experts sort sex myths from the facts.
Come Again? The Mythical Multiple Orgasm for Men continued...
Orgasm or Orgasm-esque?
What may be at issue here is the definition of orgasm -- which, according to a 2001 Clinical Psychology Review article, has been strikingly inconsistent. "Many definitions of orgasm "depict orgasm quantitatively as a 'peak' state that may not differentiate orgasm adequately from a high state of sexual arousal," the study's authors wrote.
In other words, those men who report multiple orgasms may be able to achieve orgasm-esque states before they hit the point of ejaculatory no-return. And many men report that strengthening the PC muscles through Kegel exercises allows them to edge closer to this "point of inevitability" without cresting the mountaintop of ejaculation and descending into the gentle valley of the flaccid and the "refractory" period, where the penis is temporarily unresponsive to sexual stimulation.
This refractory period -- commonly 30 minutes or more -- is an unfortunate reality. While you're "waiting," spending that time caressing, kissing, massaging, and nuzzling isn't so bad. If you are trying to have a second round because your partner wants it, keep sex toys in mind.
And if that recovery period isn't super quick, you can still enjoy multiple orgasms -- you may just need to cancel your afternoon appointments.
Sex Fact: It's Not Always about the Numbers
In the end, there seems to be a recurring theme in moving beyond sex myths: Don't get too hung up on the numbers.
So often the key to sexual satisfaction is not about penis size, stamina records, or a technical isolation of the G-spot. Rather, it's about understanding yourself and your partner's desires and recognizing that, unlike those Disney characters, real people aren't born with a perfect, divinely granted understanding of sex.
As O'Connell remarks on the perils of over-privileging of the G-spot, "It is best for partners to explore the precise areas that turn someone on and how a partner likes to be given pleasure. That applies to both men and women, and the idea that there is any consistent 'magic spot' in either sex is just tyrannical."