The Truth About Why Men Cheat
40% of cheating men met the other woman at work.
"Oftentimes the woman he cheats with at the office is someone who
praises him, looks up to him, and compliments his efforts," Neuman says.
"That's another reason why it's so critical that he feel valued at
home." Luckily, there's a clear warning sign that your husband is getting a
little too cozy with a colleague: If he praises or mentions the name of a
female coworker more than he would a male counterpart, your antennae should go
up — and it's time for the two of you to set boundaries about what is and isn't
okay at work, Neuman says. Is it acceptable for him to work late if it's only
him and her? Can they travel together to conferences? Have dinners out to
discuss a project? Ask him what he'd feel comfortable with you doing with a
Only 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive than their wife.
In other words, a man doesn't stray because he thinks he'll get better sex
with a better-looking body. "In most cases, he's cheating to fill an
emotional void," Neuman says. "He feels a connection with the other
woman, and sex comes along for the ride." If you're worried about
infidelity, focus on making your relationship more loving and connected, not on
getting your body just right or mastering new sexual positions. (But know that
sex does matter — it's one of the key ways your guy expresses his love and
feels close to you, so be sure to keep it a priority.)
Only 6% of cheating men had sex with a woman after meeting her that same day or night.
Actually, 73 percent of men got to know the other woman for more than a
month before they cheated. This means that you may have time to see the warning
signs before infidelity occurs — you might even see it coming before he
does. Keep an eye out for these common signals: He spends more time away from
home, stops asking for sex, picks fights more frequently, or avoids your calls.
Your gut reaction may be to confront him, but most men will deny even thinking
about cheating — especially if nothing physical has occurred yet. Instead,
Neuman suggests, take charge of what you can control — your own behavior — and
take the lead in bringing your marriage to a better place. Don't hesitate to
show your appreciation for him, prioritize time together, and initiate sex
more. Give him a reason to keep you at the front of his mind, Neuman says. And
be open about how you feel about what's going on between the two of you (again,
without mentioning any third parties). Try, "I think we've started to lose
something important in our marriage, and I don't want it to disappear." In
the meantime, commit to keeping tabs on your relationship and doing what it
takes to keep it working for you.