Surprising Turn-Ons for Women
Here’s a hint: they're not in the bedroom.
Showering Her With Sweets
Teresa Joyce, a product designer in Austin, Texas, adores how her husband brings her home a candy bar several times a week. He doesn't have a sweet tooth, but he knows how much she craves chocolate, so on his way out of work he stops by the vending machine to pick up an Almond Joy or Hershey's bar.
"After 20 years of marriage, you're not as mushy," she says. "We don't talk much during the day. So that's how I know he's thinking about me."
Saying "I'm Sorry"
Berit Brogaard, a philosophy and psychology professor at the University of Missouri, St. Louis, is single. But what she loved most about her partner in a previous relationship was that he was quick to say, "I am sorry," when he was clearly at fault.
"A simple apology when deserved expresses a deep kind of respect for the other person," she says. "Once you are with someone who is emotionally fair and considerate, I no longer care about dishes or who does what. And, for me, it's a definite turn-on."
Patricia Klingler, a life coach in Bellevue, Wash., says she loves to look at her husband when he isn't paying attention and see the little boy in him.
"Most men still have this inner child who is curious and innocent," she says. "My heart flutters when I see the man who doesn't have to solve every problem and know every answer and is just enjoying the moment. The real turn-on is that he is completely oblivious to my stares, which makes the innocence even more attractive."
How Small Turn-Ons Add Up
All of these turn-ons -- whether they happen every day or every week -- can enrich and strengthen a relationship. It's important to cherish these connections, especially when we get caught up in the cycle of our busy daily lives.
"It's a continuing need no matter where you are in a relationship," O'Neill says. "The hope is that if you've established these kinds of behaviors all along, then you're not going to feel as though you're going to have to work on it so hard later on.
"What I've witnessed over many years is that those little behaviors, when individually considered, are certainly not earth-shattering. But over time, they create a sum that is so much greater than its parts."
But keep in mind that what's a turn-on for one woman may be a turn-off for another. "It's very personal," O'Neill says. "For me, I love it when my husband says, 'Let's take a walk together,' at the end of a long week. It's way better than bringing home flowers."