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Breadwinner Anxiety: Man's New Worry

June 27, 2001 -- As women's roles have shifted from homemaker to working mom, men's roles have undergone similar transformations. Today's men are expected to be more sensitive, more emotionally available, and more involved as 'co-parents' than their fathers and grandfathers ever were.

But like their fathers and grandfathers, society still traditionally categorizes men as providers, a role often unrealistic in the current economy, where dual-income families are the norm and everyone seems to know a victim of a 'dot-com disaster' or downsizing.

"It's very different from 30 or 40 years ago," says psychiatrist Alan D. Feiger, MD. "Men are frequently becoming anxious because they are dependent on their wife's salary."

Feiger, associate clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center in Denver, dubs it 'breadwinner anxiety.'

"Breadwinning for males is ... associated with prowess, with sexuality, with dominance," he tells WebMD. "It is not simply a financial or economic matter."

Men who come to Feiger with breadwinner anxiety have a pattern of symptoms similar to generalized anxiety disorder, although their anxiety and panic is typically limited to work-related matters and rarely extends to other concerns such as worry over their health or the safety of their children.

Symptoms of breadwinner's anxiety include excessive worry, irritability, tension, restlessness, tiring easily, difficulty concentrating, giving up hobbies, and sleep problems -- such as nightmares or not being able to get a good night's rest.

"They frequently will take it out on their families, get suspicious about work, turn to alcohol, or talk often at home about the unfairness of their work environment," says Feiger, who is also medical director of the Feiger Health Research Center in Denver.

"It sets the whole family up for this feeling that catastrophe is right around the corner," he says. "They [fear] they won't be able to stay in the same house, the kids will have to change schools, they're not equal to their neighbors who earn a good wage -- and it affects all ages of men."

Treatment is similar to other types of anxiety disorders, with medications such as Paxil and Effexor being among the most effective, according to Feiger.

Once the panic and anxiety begin to subside, Feiger also recommends psychotherapy to help men put their life and their priorities back in order.

"There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's not an on-coming train," says Charles LoPresto, PhD, a professor of psychology at Loyola College in Baltimore, Md.

LoPresto says while men often need more encouragement than women to seek help for anxiety-related problems, they recover just as well, usually with the help of problem-solving therapy.

"We don't sit around and talk about feelings ... it tends to be more like, 'what can I do to get out of this?' and 'how can I deal with this?'" says LoPresto, a therapist who works with many men who are feeling overcome by a sense of failure due to job stress and instability.

"Even men that have been in established businesses and firms for 20 years or so are sometimes being let go and so there really isn't that sense of the 'company man' anymore ... and that's something that is adding to this particular anxiety and stress for men," he tells WebMD.