5 New Mom Guilt Trips to Skip
These guilt trips aren't taking you anywhere helpful. Here's how to get back on track.
3. Returning to work. continued...
Even the best of circumstances, however, can leave working moms feeling pulled between home and work, which can lead to feelings of guilt. The key to combating that, Manevitz says, is planning.
“Be organized so when you get home from work you can share time with your baby and partner. You don’t want to get home and find you have no diapers.”
Working out a division of labor between you and your partner, if you have one, or asking for help from friends and family, can make it easier for you to relax and enjoy being a parent.
4. Leaving your child in day care.
Going back to work usually means leaving your child in the care of someone else. Shouldn’t you feel guilty about that?
“As long as you have reliable and trustworthy child care and find meaning in the work you do and it completes you and you’re able to maintain and strike a balance, it’s a healthy thing to do,” Samuels says.
Both Samuels and Manevitz say that children actually benefit from being in the care of another loving adult. “The fact is they are providing stimulation and teaching kids to socialize and accept other people, which are all helpful things,” Manevitz says.
And as a pediatrician, many of the new moms Samuels sees report having found babysitters with skills different than their own and that contribute to their child’s life in wonderful ways. “They can bring in a different dimension and encourage different talents in your children,” Samuels says.
The bottom line, she says: “I like to emphasize to parents that it’s the quality rather than quantity of time you spend with your kids.”
5. Taking time for yourself.
As difficult as it can be to find the time, making sure you continue to exercise, spend time with friends -- without your baby -- not to mention work in a date night from time-to-time with your partner is important. And drop the guilt because taking time for yourself, experts say, can be a benefit to both you and your child.
“It’s important for each person to have an outlet and a way of recharging and reenergizing to be the best parent they can be,” Samuels says.