10 Commandments of Good Parenting
Does your child have behavior problems? Your relationship with your child likely needs some attention.
The 10 Principles of Good Parenting continued...
9. Explain your rules and decisions. "Good parents
have expectations they want their child to live up to," he writes.
"Generally, parents overexplain to young children and underexplain to
adolescents. What is obvious to you may not be evident to a 12-year-old. He
doesn't have the priorities, judgment or experience that you have."
An example: A 6-year-old is very active and very smart -- but
blurts out answers in class, doesn't give other kids a chance, and talks too
much in class. His teacher needs to address the child behavior problem. He
needs to talk to the child about it, says Steinberg. "Parents might want to
meet with the teacher and develop a joint strategy. That child needs to learn
to give other children a chance to answer questions."
10. Treat your child with respect. "The best way to
get respectful treatment from your child is to treat him respectfully,"
Steinberg writes. "You should give your child the same courtesies you would
give to anyone else. Speak to him politely. Respect his opinion. Pay attention
when he is speaking to you. Treat him kindly. Try to please him when you can.
Children treat others the way their parents treat them. Your relationship with
your child is the foundation for her relationships with others."
For example, if your child is a picky eater: "I personally
don't think parents should make a big deal about eating," Steinberg tells
WebMD. "Children develop food preferences. They often go through them in
stages. You don't want turn mealtimes into unpleasant occasions. Just don't
make the mistake of substituting unhealthy foods. If you don't keep junk food
in the house, they won't eat it."
Likewise, the checkout line tantrum can be avoided, says
Natale. "Children respond very well to structure. You can't go shopping
without preparing them for it. Tell them, 'We will be there 45 minutes. Mommy
needs to buy this. Show them the list. If you don't prepare them, they will get
bored, tired, upset by the crowds of people."
"Parents forget to consider the child, to respect the
child," Natale tells WebMD. "You work on your relationships with other
adults, your friendships, your marriage, dating. But what about your
relationship with your child? If you have a good relationship, and you're
really in tune with your child, that's what really matters. Then none of this
will be an issue."