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Children Coping With Divorce

Nurturing helps kids feel secure and keeps them out of trouble.

How Can You Help Children Cope? continued...

"Children need to have a sense that they have both a mother and father. They need to connect with the other parent -- call their father in New York or see their mother and her family at the house. They should feel a sense that they haven't lost one parent," says Goldenberg.

If parents don't fall apart, children won't fall apart either, she says. "Holidays are extremely hard for adults. They have to look at how their family is fractured. A 'stiff upper lip' won't help much. It's better to plan something positive. Talk to your child. Maybe this isn't what you had before, but start a new tradition. Go to someone's house, be part of their tradition. Or volunteer to help somewhere."

The key: "Don't let yourself get demoralized," Goldenberg tells WebMD.

"Children and their parents can come out of it all with a sense having been able to triumph over adversity," she says. "That's a good thing to know about life. Adversity is what happens in life, and it's better to deal with it than deny it -- provided you don't get done in by it."


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