Taking Father Time
Paternity leave issues.
Taking the Time
Leander Kahney, 34, is among that 71%. He says his boss was supportive of
his decision to take four weeks' unpaid paternity leave from his job as a
reporter at San Francisco-based Wired News so he could be with his wife,
three children, and newborn baby. But he doesn't dismiss the possibility that
it might have set him back. "It's a crazy workaholic society, where it has
more to do with the hours you put in than your talents."
Brott says fathers like Kahney risk a career penalty for taking paternity
leave as long as American society equates being a good father with financial
success. "There is a lot more pressure for a man to earn," he said.
"It's how we value what a good father is, and the potential damage to his
career if he takes off is far greater than for a woman."
Still, Kahney doesn't have any regrets about his decision to both help his
wife recover from childbirth and spend quality time with the rest of his brood.
"The more time you spend with the kids, the better. Better for the child
and better for you, too."
The Pros of Early Participation
Kahney's sentiments are strongly supported by the research of Kyle Pruett,
MD, a clinical professor of psychiatry at Yale University Child Study Center.
Pruett says spending time early on with a newborn is important for everyone --
dad, mom, and baby.
One advantage: Those early interactions can help boost a new dad's
confidence. "Parenting is not in your gonads and not in your genes; it's
something you have to learn at the hands of your child and vice versa," he
says. "If you don't take paternity leave at the beginning, you will always
feel like you're joining the journey in the process, instead of having started
off at the trailhead together."
Early participation also strengthens the spousal relationship, says Pruett.
"A lot of women talk about feeling more attracted to their spouses when
they are competent parents," said Pruett. "To have their spouse be a
confident, nurturing father is pretty irresistible to most women."
And even at this young age, a baby benefits from the father's presence as
well, says Pruett. The results of his long-term study on the role of the
father, published in the Nov. 1998 issue of Pediatrics, found some
special strengths in children whose fathers were actively involved in their
daily lives. "The children were very competent developmentally," says
Pruett. "They tended to have social competence, problem-solving skills, all
of which seemed to make them good adapters to the world."