When Parenting Styles Clash
Support Each Other in Front of the Children continued...
If your partner has made a big decision you don’t agree with, let him know in private.
“It's very important that parents do not criticize or blame the other parent,” says family psychotherapist Fran Walfish, author of The Self-Aware Parent. “Kids need to know parents support each other, love each other, and are a united team.”
“If Johnny needs to go to bed early, and the other parent thinks, 'I don't agree,' and behind Dad's back says, 'Come out and watch a little TV,' it undermines the other parent's authority to the kids,” Dunning says. “It will cause problems in parenting and eventually the relationship of the couple.”
Be Positive When Kids Question Differences
If your children wonder aloud about your different parenting styles, let them know it’s OK that you don’t agree on everything, and that it may help you both parent more effectively.
Aim for Consistency After A Split
If you and your partner separate, it’s good to maintain some of the same rules in each house, such as homework and bedtime routines. But that’s not always possible, especially if you aren't on good terms with your ex. Remind yourself that you can control only what happens in your household, and make sure your children know what you expect from them.
“It's best for the parents to be honest with the children, saying something like, 'At Mommy's house, bedtime is earlier than at Daddy's,'” Walfish says.